Tag: windows

Windows, dating news.

The last of the windows were replaced today, fulfilling a major household objective. That’s all the windows done now.

last windows

Leroy is expected tomorrow. When I see him, it is my job to spell out exactly how I want him to behave, going forward, so that there are no misunderstandings and we can enjoy each other and not argue. I had better give it some thought, I suppose. So I can be specific about what I want him to do.

1 Home point.

You better think about what you saying. You better think about the consequences of your actions.

Aretha Franklin (The Blues Brothers): Think

8.30 am and Christmas is back on.

Everything (nearly everything) is back in the correct place, Christmas is back on and those are the most gloriously tasteless Christmas lights ever. I never thought I’d have light-up fake gifts under my tree. I’m British, there’s probably a law against it.

That is the same window that I photographed earlier, for reference. See how nice it looks a few hours later, with some curtains and strategically placed piles of books.

gift lights

OK, it’s 8.30am and I think I can squeeze in a 90 minute nap if I go to bed immediately. See you later.

Four out of six.

They managed to replace four out of six windows. All the ones at the back and side of the house.

new window

Only the front remains. I was secretly triumphant because I KNEW they wouldn’t be able to do six windows in a day, and also I was very relieved that they were not in the mood to try because it meant we didn’t have to tear up the entire flat and move every single object and item of furniture. Just most of it. Only about 85 or 90% of it. I am happy that we are doing the last two windows on another day. It is better. It gives me a chance to put all of the furniture and bookcases back and replace all the contents of the kitchen and bathroom which are right now resident in many, many cardboard boxes. All of that can be put away. Putting it away means that clearing enough space to fit the final two windows is now physically possible and does not just exist as an idea in the fevered and ambitious imagination of the guy who owns the windows company.

The major benefits of today’s window-replacing activities are: (a) I can now use the back room again, right now it is needed for Christmas present wrapping and storing gifts, paper, tape, millions of cards, etc. (b) after Christmas is over I will be able to thoroughly clean, plaster and paint the back room and THEN I can properly arrange my sewing, knitting and other craft stuff. I have a whole table for my sewing machine so I can finally sew. (c) I can now arrange to fit a blind in the kitchen. Right now, of course, it has no window covering so once again I had to make a screen out of a paper tablecloth, which I have taped and nailed to the wall, using drawing pins. I now wish I had chosen a Xmas table cloth but it is too late. I can’t believe I’ve just spent several thousand pounds on windows and the place still looks like a squat.

kitchen window cloth

Right then, it is shockingly late already so I’d better make a complete list of tonight’s tasks as my business partner is coming over here tomorrow morning and we can’t have a serious work session when I am not sure where the kettle is and all the furniture is in the wrong rooms.

  • Kitchen. Scrub down the sink and draining board. Return all of the saucepans, casserole dishes, baking trays, various other utensils and implements, crockery and glassware to the kitchen because currently every single item is in the living room. Put back the cookery books. Find somewhere to put the box of baking ingredients that I’ve assembled. I was totally disgusted to learn that my supermarket didn’t have cookie cutters(!) and nor did Homebase, so I had to order some off Amazon, where else. They should be here in a few days. Then we can bake and generally play with food. Here’s a picture of my forthcoming cookie cutters and here is a recipe for Melted Snowman Cookies that I am totally planning on making. I don’t know who is going to eat all this stuff. I will have to feed up Leroy, who has a young person’s metabolism and is slimmer than I am to begin with.

cookie cutters


  • Hall. Maybe kitchen as well. Hang some fairy lights that I bought when I was in Homebase looking for cookie cutters.
  • Living room. Attach some hooks to the new window frame and rehang the curtain. Put the bookcase back where it was. Refill it with books. Put the Xmas tree back where it was. Put ornaments and glassware back on shelves. Put Xmas decorations back.
  • Bathroom. Put all the bathroom stuff back in the correct place, it is currently in a box in the living room like everything else that I own.
  • Back bedroom. Unload, move and restack piles of boxes in a way that permits access to my Xmas wrapping, cards and gifts and also the ironing board. Wrap children’s gifts. Write cards, Separate cards for hand delivery from cards to be sent.
  • When that’s all done, try to finish my colleague’s baby blanket that is a year overdue.

I think that’s all. I am so tired. There wasn’t very much sleep last night. I almost think that if I went for a two-hour nap now, I would be able to keep going through the rest of tonight and into tomorrow’s work day. I might do that. You can see why I am so desperate for some holiday from work.

The winter wind blows through my flat.

It is very cold in here right now. A whole team of builders came over and they are working on three of my windows simultaneously. There are terrifying, gaping holes in the walls where the windows used to be. This guy is sitting on the ledge of what used to be the kitchen window, with his legs dangling over the side, as he prises away what’s left of the wooden window frame. I am knitting. I am making a hat that is supposed to be for Leroy but I might need it myself before the end of the day.


Everything is great because it is Christmas and there is love.

In the end, Leroy came over today. It was better. I had finally had a good night’s sleep and my house looks amazing because it is right in between the stage where I decluttered and cleaned as though my life depended on it, and the stage where I have to empty the bookshelves and move all the furniture, which I will do after dinner this evening. It looks really nice. It is clean, it is almost spartan in the amount of clutter that it doesn’t have, and there are cute Christmas decorations and Christmas stuff. Right now I am having a mince pie and a glass of port while I am waiting for dinner to cook. Mince pies and glasses of port are not an official part of my diet, but fuck it. Tonight’s dinner is mackerel, rocket and a handful of oven chips and I might watch some sort of Christmas movie while I am eating.

Let me show you a Christmas thing, I got this idea from Arne and Carlos. Baubles do not always have to go on the tree, okay. If you have unused ones, you can thread them on to a piece of wide ribbon and hang them from the walls, or anywhere you like, regardez-vous:

baubles 1

baubles 2

Things with Leroy are great. Really great. We are rushing it and we don’t care.

  • The sex is amazing, he blew my mind today. I can’t believe how enormously fat I am and I further can’t believe that he doesn’t care and he even thinks I’m attractive. He tells me I’m sexy, he certainly looks at me with hunger and he manhandles me in a way that, if I were prone to using that sort of language, would make me say that unlike the little white boys, he knows what to do with a thick woman.
  • I shared with him my plans for Christmas, the best part being my two week holiday from work and got him excited about it. He is going to come over regularly and we are going to play Xbox games together and bake cookies as well as fucking each other senseless.
  • He said that one half of my bed is his now, that he slept like a baby the last time he was here and that I should expect him to sleep here regularly over the festive period.
  • He said that even though we only met just over a week ago, he totally missed me all week in way that defied logic and rationality.
  • Oh yeah, the best part, I told him about the Rucksack Project and he got REALLY excited about that and wants to make a rucksack for someone. So I am going to totally encourage him to do that, we are both going to scour charity shops for sleeping bags, etc, and when we’ve each fully assembled a survival-kit rucksack we can go out together and find homeless people to give them to. He loved the idea. His face was shining.

So that’s us. We are doing fabulously. He said he is kind of shocked how much and how fast he likes me, and I said ‘don’t worry. Follow your instincts’. He would be here now except that there is a family party this evening because his little sister is 18 so he had to go home to South London. I expect he will be back later this week.

The window replacement company is coming tomorrow morning and who knows what fresh hell that could bring, but as of right now everything is lovely. If I am extremely lucky, the windows will be replaced without a problem and I will be able to get my Christmas nest back to looking the way it should. I am thinking that it needs more decorations so as soon as the windows people have left I will get on that. I think we need some fairy lights and mistletoe in the hall. Also maybe some fairy lights in the kitchen. Finally, I am thinking about baking. I suddenly feel that I want to bake Christmas cookies and I might not be able to wait for Leroy to get started. Because look at these. Chocolate gingerbread men. I wonder if they sell the right kind of cookie cutters in my supermarket. They’re bound to have something, aren’t they. If not gingerbread men, then stars or something. The recipe is courtesy of Stork and Homemaker Magazine.


Right then, I must go because my dinner is ready. Wish me luck for the windows tomorrow, there will be news at the end of the day.

I am a spoilt bastard.

OK, I got over the little strop I was having. I had a break from the housework and took a cup of coffee and a sandwich to the homeless guy who shivers outside the supermarket across the road, a man who would probably be overjoyed if he were lucky enough to have his own windows that needed replacing.

The housework is nearly done now, we are almost there, about another hour or so to go, I think, then I can have a shower and a long sit down and we are all set until the final round of furniture-moving tomorrow.

I wish I had a bit more confidence in how this is going to work.

I am worried about the fact that the windows replacement company is going to attempt to do major building work in every room in my flat simultaneously, in one day, starting in less than 48 hours.

I have had almost no sleep because it is a gigantic task trying to reduce my belongings to the bare essentials and pack what remains into tightly-stacked boxes when THERE IS NOWHERE TO PUT THE BOXES. LITERALLY NOWHERE FOR THEM TO GO.

I simply cannot visualise how there is going to be enough room for the builders to even physically get in here carrying large pieces of window frame, then remove 6 large windows and install completely new ones from INSIDE my flat while all my furniture and general stuff is still in here. I just have no confidence in this plan at all. I hope they know what they are doing.

The room with the most clutter in it was the back room. I have reduced the amount of unwanted clutter by I would say 80%. There are still boxes of assorted cables and semi redundant technology that I will in no way have a chance to go through between now and Monday, so they are still here, taking up valuable space and getting ready to make everyone’s life extra difficult on Monday morning. I have reduced the overall contents of the back room by about one-third. The remaining two-thirds is all in boxes and crates and they are squeezed tightly into the corner of the room that is furthest away from the window, leaving as much space as possible around the window. This is the best and most successful room from the point of view of making space for the builders and it has taken days. The amount of domestic labour has been quite staggering. Now all my Christmas stuff, stuff that I need, including cards and unwrapped gifts, is in crates in the back of that fucking corner so when the builders have finished wrecking my flat on Monday, I can’t even shut the door on it. I will have to set to work unloading and moving all the crates so that I can get to the stuff I need ahead of Xmas. Then after Xmas I will have to restack and move all the crates YET AGAIN so I can clean, plaster and redecorate the room. The amount of work and the amount of time this is using up, of the precious hours that exist outside of my full-time job, makes me feel a lot like crying if I let myself think about it. So I am not thinking about it. In any case, there isn’t time.

So that’s the back room. There’s basically nothing I can do about the bedroom until I’ve finished using the bed for sleeping in on Sunday night. The bathroom and kitchen will have to wait, there is no point removing everything from the bathroom and kitchen because there is nowhere to remove it TO. What we will have to do is get the builders to start work in the back room, when that’s finished we can effortfully remove the contents of my bathroom, bedroom, kitchen and living room into that room.

So that’s me. I am sweaty. I am filthy dirty. I have decluttered everything that it is physically possible for me to declutter in the time available. I would like to sleep for a few hours because I have had no sleep but instead I now have to run round the living room, hall and kitchen and: tidy up remaining junk; throw out rubbish; wash dishes; clean surfaces; mop floors. Vanish a giant pile of clothes in the bedroom. Don’t do any laundry because there is no longer any place to dry it.

And that’s all the news. I am dreading Leroy texting me to say he is on his way over. 1 Home point. When I have time to collect a Home point. I think I might be a couple behind already.