Tag: music

Church.

Diljit Dosanjh is an Indian actor, singer and all-round celebrity who works in Punjabi and Hindi cinema and the Punjabi music industry. I am mainly posting this for the excellent dancing, Indian culture excels at dance, particularly for men. Dance requires men to be strong yet agile, not so bulked up with inflated, balloon-animal muscles that it reduces their mobility. This is why you don’t see Captain America dancing.

Diljit Dosanjh: Sweetu (2014)

 

In which I waver and have dark moods.

I have been in a funny mood the last couple of days, since about Saturday evening. Irritable, pensive and gloomy. To what shall I attribute it?

  • Could be hormones. I am the right age for swinging hormones, or it could be a time of the month thing or it could be exercise-induced testosterone surges or whatever.
  • Eurgh, I have faulty lights in my house and I have to engage an electrician. If the whole place needs rewiring, it will be very, very expensive, running to thousands of pounds. This is enough to make anyone annoyed and depressed.
  • I went on a carb binge over the weekend because I was just so tired of constantly eating raw vegetables and watching my weight waver within a range of the same two pounds for the last two weeks. I am back on the healthy eating wagon as of this morning. I wrote that sentence and then ate several pieces of Mint Aero with my breakfast smoothie.
  • I want to do demanding exercise classes at my gym but at the same time I am plagued by various allergies and itchy skin right now and I know this is a sign that I’ve run down my immune system instead of boosting it. I need to rest and preserve myself and get my energy up, clear my skin, then resume doing insane classes at the gym where you heave weights around until you pass out.
  • There are certain aspects of work that I find annoying, which I guess is true for everyone. I’m not very patient with bureaucracy.
  • Being in an actual relationship for the first time since 2010 brings its own rewards and challenges. On the rewards side, it is a warm and mutually beneficial social exchange, we are genuinely fond of each other and my house is clean all the time. On the challenges side, I picked someone highly intelligent and observant who notices everything and is very interested in getting to know me. This is unnerving because it is something I haven’t experienced for a long time. Usually, my relationships involve making sure the other person is kept at a distance. We don’t discuss deep, personal topics. I discourage personal remarks and they don’t ask penetrating questions. We keep things light and cheerful. I now realise that I haven’t let anyone get to know me well for several years. I just don’t let people get that close. Also, it’s conceivable that I might be a bit crazy. You don’t notice this as much if you don’t let people in.

So that’s why I’m grumpy today. When I’m in a better mood, I actually have some nice photos to show you, but they will have to wait. Let’s have a tune instead. This is 90s rap artist, Da Brat. In this beautiful video, many famous singers and rappers of the era come together for a party and to see her perform. The vibe is gentle and everyone is happy. For me, the most special and poignant moment is at 1:26, where the late Biggie Smalls, arguably the greatest rapper of all time, arrives with four of his honeys, affectionately holding two of them by the hand. He was always a ladies’ man. Precious moments in rap history. Biggie died of fatal gunshot wounds three years later, in 1997, aged 24. If I could choose between having Princess Diana come back from the dead or Biggie Smalls, I would choose Biggie.

Da Brat: Give It 2 You (1994)

Finally, a definition of “over-exercise”

So, as you know, I have been over-exercising. I can infer this because my hair is shedding in large amounts, my skin is breaking out and I have been unusually exhausted (although, paradoxically, feeling more energetic when awake).

This is very, very annoying, esp the falling hair because I am a woman and I want my hair on my head, not all over the floor. Also, I now can’t get my grey roots dyed until it stops shedding, which could take 2-3 months and I can’t swim because chlorine and swimming caps are hard on your hair.

The thing is, we all know in theory that you shouldn’t over-exercise, but how much is ‘over’? Huh? If I knew that I could have avoided it in the first place. It’s not like I’ve been lifting huge barbells for 8 hours a day or pulling monster trucks with my teeth. I was exercising every day but I didn’t think I was overdoing it, I’m convinced that plenty of athletes and body builders around the world exercise every day and I thought the NHS shared the same view.

OK, so I’ve finally found someone who is willing to specify exactly how much is too much. Shin Ohtake of maxworkouts.com says “When I mean exercising too much, I’m talking at least once a day and for a duration of an hour at minimum doing mostly cardio related activities.” That’s me, isn’t it. I was exercising 7 days/week, for an average of 2 hours, sometimes more, doing mostly cardio, such as vigorously marching up and down hills.

Even more annoyingly, according to Shin, over exercising makes you store and retain fat instead of losing it, which explains why I’ve had no significant weight loss in two weeks.

So, how much exercise should I be doing?

Shin says to stop doing long cardio sessions because it eats away at lean muscle mass and makes you hungry.

Do short (eg 30 minutes), high-intensity workouts instead.

He doesn’t say how many times a week to do this, but I looked up the NHS guidelines and they think that on a weekly basis, 75 minutes of vigorous cardio plus two sessions of resistance exercises is about right.

I would like to keep going to Total Conditioning class at my gym because it is a demanding workout and I feel like I’m getting value for money. That class is about 50 minutes, is certainly vigorous and is mainly strength with some cardio. There’s a second class called Body Pump that sounds similar, hopefully slightly less brutal, so I’m going to try that as well. So that’s my plan for a while. I’m going to take two classes/week at the gym, starting this Monday and in between I’m going to do no exercise at all. We’ll see if that helps. No more 10-mile hikes until further notice.

Thanks for listening to me blathering on. Here’s a tune. Don’t get up and dance. You’ll just wear yourself out.

Iggy Azalea ft. Jennifer Hudson: Trouble (2014)

My Grocery Shopping

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Of course, I already had vegetables at home because I eat vegetables three times a day now.

I am obsessed with health. I’ve been Doing The Right Thing for 11 days. My heart rate feels more normal and I have lost 6 pounds. My hair is falling out from the sudden change of diet and exercise but it will resolve itself when my body gets used to the new regime.

Things I have learned in the last 11 days of being Very Serious about health.

  1. Calories are important, but not as important as net carbs.
  2. Stop eating so much fruit. When people say “be careful how much fruit you eat, it can have a lot of sugar in it”, what they mean is “OMG have you SEEN the amount of sugar and carbs in fruit, there is LOADS and LOADS”. So that’s why I’ve severely cut back on the amount of fruit in my smoothies. Raspberries, blackberries, strawberries and plums have significantly fewer carbs than bananas, grapes and mangoes.
  3. If you insist on drinking coffee, drink it black as God intended. If you can’t drink coffee without loads of milk in it then you are just being a wuss.
  4. Frozen vegetables not only keep better than fresh vegetables, they make your smoothie cold, meaning you don’t have to add ice. In any case, ice is not good for the blades on your blender.
  5. If you must sweeten things, raw honey (see picture) is better than the normal kind. It is less processed and has higher anti-oxidant levels.
  6. Greek yogurt is good. Choose the plain kind, not the flavoured kind, which has added sugar.
  7. Almost unbelievably, various plants that are high in protein and are supposed to be good for you contain a compound that mimics oestrogen. This means soya, linseed (flax), nuts, chickpeas and many other things that you are liable to consume a lot of if you are on a low-carb, high-protein diet. This is obviously somewhat of a concern from a health point of view but the good news is, if you are a woman aged 50, like me, you are the one segment of the population that benefits from an oestrogen boost in their diet. If you are a younger woman or a man, I don’t have any advice for you.
  8. You can eat whole-grain oatmeal on a carb-restricted diet and it pays off in fibre and protein as well as its ability to satisfy hunger.
  9. Don’t put lumps of raw ginger in the blender. Grate it first.
  10. When you are tired of spinach, kale, pak choi, tatsoi, Swiss chard, spring greens and carrots, which will take about 2 weeks, here are some more vegetables that you can put in smoothies: cucumber; courgettes (zucchini); pumpkin; butternut squash; lettuce; parsley; peas (hooray, a way to use up the frozen peas that I always have in the freezer).
  11. Don’t put so many ingredients in the blender. A smoothie should be 50% liquid, 25% vegetables, no more than 25% fruit.
  12. Everyone must own coconut oil. I’m not sure exactly what it is for, but everyone must have some, apparently it is magical and makes unicorns appear, cures cancer and conquers unexplored planets. Anyway, there was a two-for-one offer at the health food store.

And now for some music, because that was possibly the most boring post I’ve ever written. I am tired of listening to my own thoughts about carbs and protein. Let’s have a tune instead. I normally think that Pharrell Williams and Katy Perry are two of the most annoying people on the entire planet, but nevertheless, this is quite a catchy little number. I would say ‘get up and dance’ but I know you’ve already done 2 hours of cardio today.

Harry did 60 push-ups at my house the other night and was completely destroyed the next day. I didn’t laugh because I am nice.

Calvin Harris ft. Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry, Big Sean: Feels (2017)

 

I think we are officially dating.

Harry came to tea. He stayed for dinner. Then he stayed the night. It was our fourth date.

I think we have a relationship up and running. It is so nice and easy so far. No disconnects. N’est pas un problème.

He proved to be quite assertive over the course of the evening and I let him have the upper hand, within the mitigating and constraining circumstances of the upper hand actually being mine.

And now for a tune. Shut up.

Sin With Sebastian: Shut up And Sleep With Me (1995)

 

Starry Skies, Chapter 8: Ice

I was in the London Bridge area last night because I was on a second date with Chockney, who you may remember from Chapter 6.

In theory, Chockney is perfect. He is very attractive, despite his advanced years. He is sensitive and artistic, yet solvent (makes a nice change, usually if the people I date have any money it’s because they are still living off their parents). He is clever. He’s transparent and not secretive. He’s quite engaging and he’s a nice person. He’s sincere. He really likes me. He is my age. He is available for a relationship.

As you know, dear readers, I fall in love about twice a week, but as for being in a relationship, I would have to cast my mind all the way back to 2010, by which time that relationship was in a terrible state and had been for a couple of years, which is why I ended it and started this blog. The last seven years have been the happiest years of my life. I’m so glad I captured it all here.

Chockney talks about being in a relationship like it’s perfectly normal, which I don’t think it is. I don’t think it is normal. It’s common but not normal. He uses phrases like “being on my own” which make absolutely no sense to me, I have no idea at all what it means and I’m not very sympathetic to it. We’re all alone, all the time, from birth until death, and anything else is an illusion.

I can no longer remember what being in a relationship is like. The aspects I can remember aren’t very valuable to me. Honestly, I think I just hated the drudgery of parenting and being in a relationship made it slightly more bearable. But the parenting is over now, he’s grown up and gone to live in another city. There isn’t anything in my life that I don’t like except for doing my tax return and having to think about things like mortgages and pensions. In every other respect, my life is sweet and a work of art.

I don’t even know what I am doing with this guy. The last time I had real feelings for someone, it was the Person Who I Wasn’t Supposed To Be In Love With in 2015 and 2016. That was sincere love. I miss it a lot, I miss him a lot. I wish I could have that again but now I’ve found someone who basically ticks all the boxes and is offering a Real Relationship, I am horrified. I am a block of ice. I don’t mind having dinner and listening to myself make conversation, I am very engaging company. But I don’t want to be kissed and sex could not be any further from my mind. He takes for granted that I’m not seeing anyone else, because he’s not concentrating hard enough to ask the right questions. Am I ‘in a relationship’ with anyone else, definitely not, and have not been for 7 years. Are there people in my life who I am in some way involved with, yes, obviously, there always those people. All the time. Even if we don’t count Harry, there are two people in France who are excitedly waiting for me to come out there and join them in August. I’m spending a week in the south of France with the rich American lawyer and then I’m going straight from him to a games designer who I’ve known for a number of years who lives in the part of France that borders Switzerland. None of these things could correctly be described as ‘being in a relationship’ but they are very much real people and they are alive. They are what I have instead of a partner.

Chockney assumes that if we begin A Relationship (in fact, I think he thinks it has already begun), it will be monogamous. Again, because he thinks monogamy is normal and not merely common, he doesn’t ask me. He just assumes that monogamy is what people do, probably because he is old. If he asked me, he would discover that I haven’t been in a monogamous relationship since I was 16. That was the 1980s. That’s how long ago it was. If I tried something once in the 1980s and haven’t done it again since, that’s a reliable sign that I don’t want it and I am not interested.

I am a block of ice. I am a nuclear winter in a pretty frock and meticulous make-up. Don’t even try to hold my hand, I have never liked holding hands, I find it embarrassing, it makes me feel like I’m five. You can walk along next to me and that’s all you’re getting.

Why am I even seeing him, you may ask? Good question. I can identify two reasons.

(1) I have certain household repairs that need doing that are beyond the abilities of the 24-year-olds that I usually date. I could pay someone, but I don’t want to.

(2) More seriously, everything was changed by The Person Who I Wasn’t Supposed To Be In Love With, who haunted my life like a beautiful, insubstantial ghost in 2015 and 2016. I loved the Person with all my heart. I was swept away. I would have spent the rest of my life trying to make him happy. I haven’t seen him in six months and I still miss him so much. It makes me teary if I think about how much I loved him and how we used to romantically gaze at each other. I miss that. I would love to have that again. But apparently I can only love ghosts. I can’t deal with it in real life. Real-life chances of love, like this one, turn me into stone. I am the Ice Queen. I will break his heart.

He needs to go. Right after he’s mended a few things around my house.

Let’s have a tune. Church.

M.O.P. – Cold As Ice