Tag: allergy

Permission to be cheerful.

  1. One of my clients is going to pay some money into the business that needs it the most. HOORAY!!! THANK YOU, UNIVERSE. This means I can pay my tax bill and the Inland Revenue is not going to bankrupt me quite yet. HOORAY!!! Also another one of my clients offered me a sum of money that is a lot smaller but still good and definitely worth having.
  2. The horrible allergy that made all my skin fall off has FINALLY subsided to a level where I don’t think it is noticeable to other people. It took my GP and I a few different brands of anti-histamine before we found one that worked, and I may never be able to drink alcohol again but at least my skin is looking better, at long last. That went on for about a month, if not two.
  3. In light of my renewed good mood, there’s one more thing that I can feel happy about. You remember when I was very briefly in Amsterdam a couple of weeks ago and mentioned that I’d made a new friend? Well, it really was strictly just friends. Except now it looks like it might be a little bit more than friends and I have resolved to go back to Amsterdam to see him. Quite soon. A weekend in April. Isn’t that thrilling. He is a very beautiful spirit and he speaks Arabic, because I like that as much as I do French.

OK, that’s all for today. Thank you Jah, for sending the money. I really needed it.

Discontinuation Syndrome

I am drug-free. I took my final dose of the happy pills on Sunday the 19th of October and it’s now Thursday.

Even though I tapered them off by reducing the dose over a month, wow, I am symptomatic. I hope it doesn’t last for too much longer. I am just dealing with it as best I can.

  • Vivid dreams. This is the part I don’t mind, in fact it is really enjoyable. I had one dream recently about mining, of all things, that was incredibly magical and like something out of Lord of the Rings. Then I had a dream about a giant shark where I was a marine photographer and got some absolutely amazing and terrifying photos of it killing and eating things. Then today I had a dream that I’ve just woken up from where I had a pair of gorgeous diamond earrings and a matching brooch. So I am not complaining about this, it is great. Also, my sexual function is returning, fast. Less helpfully:
  • Sudden and irresistible fatigue. The last couple of days, I can only stay awake for about five hours at a time and then I am blitzed and have to go to sleep for 2-4 hours because my brain won’t function any more and no amount of caffeine will keep me awake. This is making work very difficult but all I can do is ride it out and wait for it to pass.
  • My weight is rocketing up and down, mostly up. Bloating, gas. Embarrassing. I’m huge enough already without blowing up like a balloon.
  • I am sweating like it’s an Olympic event.
  • Excessively loud tinnitus.
  • This is my least favourite one, even worse than the sudden fatigue and sweating: “extreme sensitivity of body tissues”. What that means is that I am suddenly a ball of allergies. Flushed, blotchy face. Itchy skin, allergic rashes that appear and disappear. Constant asthma because my lungs are unendingly irritated – thank goodness I returned to being a non-smoker a few weeks ago, because otherwise I would be screwed now. Also, thank goodness my house is clean and unusually free from dust.

So that’s why I can’t go to the gym, even though I am starting to get desperate now because of the weight gain. I walked for an hour today because I needed to deliver some stuff to my accountant and when I returned I was sweating, red in the face and breathless in a way that would have caused the gym to call me an ambulance.

Other than that, I’m absolutely fine.

FFS.

What can you do? Nothing, that’s what. Anyway, I am drug-free now. I threw the unused pills in the bin and we are all done. All I have to do, and indeed, all I can do, is wait for my body to get with the programme. 1 Health point. FML. Let’s open another can of Red Bull and check out this fantastic tune.

… oh hey, maybe this means my ability to hear music is coming back. If I can have sex successfully and appreciate a wicked tune, then maybe things are basically okay.

Ian Dury & The Blockheads: I Want To Be Straight (1980)

Aargh, it is all happening too fast.

Too much work on. Busy every day. Plus I ate something at the weekend that disagreed with me and gave me a lovely allergic rash so that’s festive.

I have finished the baby gift I was making for my sister. On Monday evening I cancelled a date with her because rash. Last night I cancelled a very hot young guy who I was supposed to date because rash. Tonight I am supposed to be out with a quite saucy looking blonde woman but although I would go out with her tonight, she hasn’t been online in the last 24 hours so I am inclined to think that maybe she is going to wimp out, as they sometimes do.

So I am staying in and working and lord knows I need to, to meet these deadlines.

Because I am so frantically busy between now and Xmas, it is starting to look as though the following things will be a real challenge:

– sending any Xmas cards

– buying a single gift

– putting up a tree

– going on 12 dates between now and the end of March.

Wish me luck readers. At least I am about to get time off work. All I have to do is get through the next 10 days and then Xmas will happen whether I’m ready or not and then I can put my feet up until New Year.

I am dieting semi seriously and have stopped eating chocolate. I don’t know what I was thinking.

Soldiering on.

Gah. I am so allergic to these antibiotics it is not even funny. Constant skin rashes on random parts of my body, sweating, dizzy, other symptoms that you don’t even want to hear about. This is not TLYW, it is itchy and sweaty. I am coughing a bit less so I suppose that is something. Some kind of trade-off.

Obviously I’m not doing any exercise or seeing Klaus or going out at all in this terribly poor condition. Can’t even drink because of the antibiotics, they have rendered me semi conscious already, I don’t like to think what would happen if I added alcohol. There are only three bright spots:

1. Chinese. Staying in by myself at least means I am getting loads and loads of Chinese homework done and I’ve earned three more points including today’s effort which will extend into this evening.

2. JC. Ah, my lovely imaginary relationship with my bad-tempered imaginary boyfriend. The huge advantage of never seeing each other is that it doesn’t matter if I’m out of breath and wearing a rash. He occasionally sends me texts in which we imagine how great it would be if we actually saw each other.

3. Pop music. Let’s have some Joss Stone. Summery.

Joss Stone: Super Duper Love

王先生是英国人. Mr Wang is British.

At least, I think that’s what it says.

That was a big lot of Chinese homework tonight (1 Chinese point). I can recognise approximately 80 Chinese characters now. I am good at understanding their meaning. Pronunciation is my weak spot, so that’s what I’m practising this week.

I am recovering from my big allergy attack.  I still have a nasty red spotty rash and red scratch marks but the swelling is going down, thanks to large doses of steroids, which are having the side effect of making me very sleepy. Also, I can wear clothes comfortably now and that is so welcome, I feel I will be able to get into bed and sleep normally tonight. Spoke to L’Oreal on the phone this morning and I have to go to a dermatologist to isolate the exact ingredient that made me so ill, which L’Oreal will pay for. They are writing to me about it.

That’s all for tonight! I have eaten very well today, loads of salad, no sweets and obviously no coffee. I even had porridge for breakfast and I never have breakfast. Pretty soon I will be blogging about food and diets, so watch this space. See you soon!  再见!

It’s my six-month anniversary!

Hurrah! TLYW is exactly six months old this weekend!

What an extraordinary amount has been achieved. My old life was horrible, looking back on it. It was a trainwreck where health is concerned: I smoked heavily, neglected my teeth, ate nothing but sugar. I was severely depressed. I was in an abusive relationship. The house was a festering rubbish tip. I am so, so glad that I hauled myself out of that situation, I shudder to think where it was headed.

Life is very different now. The house, while not always perfectly tidy, is clean and capable of receiving visitors without embarrassment. I have several new hobbies, including sewing, running and Chinese. I quit smoking!!! – something I did not want to do when I started out, and did not feel very able to do. I have ambitions now, I feel that my life is once again heading in the right direction and that I have mastered the art of being alive reasonably happily.

As for this weekend’s headlines … well, all my skin is still dreadfully inflamed and uncomfortable, but I am taking the pills they gave me at the hospital and there is a slight improvement on the state I was in yesterday. Slight. Therefore, I think it is heroic that I squeezed my tortured flesh into a sports bra and went out for a jog on the couch-to-5k programme for the fifth time today (1 Health point). This massive allergy flare up has made it hard to breathe, and that’s already not something my smoker’s lungs do very well while jogging, so I am still doing repeats of the Couch to 5K Week 1 jogging session, even though a fitter person would have moved on to Week 2 already. I am not trying to injure myself here. I just want to build up my strength and stamina slowly and I need to be able to breathe, that’s obviously quite important, so I will continue to do the Week 1 session for as long as I need to, even if that is 20 times.

In other news, well it is quite exciting. I have realised that I would like to have toned arms to go with my soon-to-be-toned legs so I have ordered a small set of brightly coloured dumbbells and I am going to use those at home two or three times a week, on days when I don’t go for a jog. I will let you know how I get on.

Other goals for the coming weeks: I want to continue to make progress in Chinese, because as a class we are all developing really fast and our teacher is thrilled with us. Secondly, it is time to get back on the sewing machine. I am very very excited at the prospect of running helping me to slim down as now I will be able to wear all the sorts of dresses that I want to make.

At the hospital.

So I walked into the hospital, looking like I’d been in a fire, and they saw me straight away, no messing around.

That congestion and shortness of breath I’ve experienced over the last couple of days? And the exhaustion? Wasn’t caffeine withdrawal. Was my body going into shock.

They injected me full of this and that, gave me some medicine, had me wait around until they were sure I wasn’t going to die, and then sent me home with pills. My skin is still burning like crazy and it looks and feels like it is all going to fall off. They said if there is no improvement by tomorrow, I have to go back.

I’m okay, anyway. I am not going to suffocate or otherwise die of anything. I just look like someone who has severe burns over 90% of their upper body.