My Grocery Shopping

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Of course, I already had vegetables at home because I eat vegetables three times a day now.

I am obsessed with health. I’ve been Doing The Right Thing for 11 days. My heart rate feels more normal and I have lost 6 pounds. My hair is falling out from the sudden change of diet and exercise but it will resolve itself when my body gets used to the new regime.

Things I have learned in the last 11 days of being Very Serious about health.

  1. Calories are important, but not as important as net carbs.
  2. Stop eating so much fruit. When people say “be careful how much fruit you eat, it can have a lot of sugar in it”, what they mean is “OMG have you SEEN the amount of sugar and carbs in fruit, there is LOADS and LOADS”. So that’s why I’ve severely cut back on the amount of fruit in my smoothies. Raspberries, blackberries, strawberries and plums have significantly fewer carbs than bananas, grapes and mangoes.
  3. If you insist on drinking coffee, drink it black as God intended. If you can’t drink coffee without loads of milk in it then you are just being a wuss.
  4. Frozen vegetables not only keep better than fresh vegetables, they make your smoothie cold, meaning you don’t have to add ice. In any case, ice is not good for the blades on your blender.
  5. If you must sweeten things, raw honey (see picture) is better than the normal kind. It is less processed and has higher anti-oxidant levels.
  6. Greek yogurt is good. Choose the plain kind, not the flavoured kind, which has added sugar.
  7. Almost unbelievably, various plants that are high in protein and are supposed to be good for you contain a compound that mimics oestrogen. This means soya, linseed (flax), nuts, chickpeas and many other things that you are liable to consume a lot of if you are on a low-carb, high-protein diet. This is obviously somewhat of a concern from a health point of view but the good news is, if you are a woman aged 50, like me, you are the one segment of the population that benefits from an oestrogen boost in their diet. If you are a younger woman or a man, I don’t have any advice for you.
  8. You can eat whole-grain oatmeal on a carb-restricted diet and it pays off in fibre and protein as well as its ability to satisfy hunger.
  9. Don’t put lumps of raw ginger in the blender. Grate it first.
  10. When you are tired of spinach, kale, pak choi, tatsoi, Swiss chard, spring greens and carrots, which will take about 2 weeks, here are some more vegetables that you can put in smoothies: cucumber; courgettes (zucchini); pumpkin; butternut squash; lettuce; parsley; peas (hooray, a way to use up the frozen peas that I always have in the freezer).
  11. Don’t put so many ingredients in the blender. A smoothie should be 50% liquid, 25% vegetables, no more than 25% fruit.
  12. Everyone must own coconut oil. I’m not sure exactly what it is for, but everyone must have some, apparently it is magical and makes unicorns appear, cures cancer and conquers unexplored planets. Anyway, there was a two-for-one offer at the health food store.

And now for some music, because that was possibly the most boring post I’ve ever written. I am tired of listening to my own thoughts about carbs and protein. Let’s have a tune instead. I normally think that Pharrell Williams and Katy Perry are two of the most annoying people on the entire planet, but nevertheless, this is quite a catchy little number. I would say ‘get up and dance’ but I know you’ve already done 2 hours of cardio today.

Harry did 60 push-ups at my house the other night and was completely destroyed the next day. I didn’t laugh because I am nice.

Calvin Harris ft. Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry, Big Sean: Feels (2017)

 

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