Oh god, the hoarding.

OK, so you know that nice lady who says that decluttering your linen takes 10-15 minutes? Yeah.

  • I did 7.5 hours of ironing before I lost track of the time. 7.5 HOURS. The way it goes is you iron a duvet cover with the fancy, difficult edging, then right at the end of ironing the duvet cover for 45 minutes you discover a hole or a stain or something else wrong with it. Poppers that don’t do up. This also especially applies to fitted sheets. You can spend ages ironing a fitted sheet and then in very last bit you iron there will be some disfiguring stain or hole that disqualifies it from being your best linen.
  • I own 15-20 duvet covers. I do not know how that happened.
  • I only own about 6 bottom sheets and nearly all of them are marked or flawed in some way.
  • I have too many sets of matching pillowcases where one pillowcase has eyeliner or mascara stains on it that I can’t get out.
  • I can now fold a fitted sheet, not that brilliantly, but okay.

I’ve never felt hoarding tendencies so strongly before today. Normally I am good at decluttering, I can pitch things and not feel bad for their loss. But I need to let go of a lot of bed linen, a lot. Some of it, I was glad to see the back of:

  • Two depressing duvet covers with matching pillow cases that are 20 years old and that don’t have particularly good memories attached to them and that I don’t use. One threadbare Postman Pat pillowcase. A couple of sheets for a single bed (I own no such bed). Duvet covers that are grey and industrial and make my bedroom look like a man lives there.

Some of it is much harder to let go of!!

  • Duvet covers where there is nothing at all wrong with them except I have too many. I can hardly bear to let go of them. There’s a big part of my brain that keeps going “but you might need them! they’re perfectly fine! they might come in handy!” But realistically, what is going to happen? Am I going to have 15 guests come to stay? No, I am not. And anyway I don’t have 15 duvets that I could put that many covers on. And I don’t have the storage space for all this crap, I really don’t. It’s got to go.

Anyway. I have managed to get it down to 4 sets of linen. 4.5 if you count one duplicate duvet cover that I can’t bear to part with because it is particularly nice, this being why I bought two. I don’t know why I am obsessing. It’s not even expensive stuff. I looked on Amazon and you can get duvet covers just like this for £8 and pillowcases are going for 55p each.

Here are three of my sets of fully ironed linen. As you can see, I succeeded in making each set fit inside a pillowcase and pinned the parcels shut with dressmakers’ pins like so. That’s my Portmeirion tea set in the background, which I will show you properly another time.

folded sheets

Right, I must do a bit more ironing for the last parcel of linen, then all the rest of it is going out the door. And that’s me done for today. Needless to say, I have not started on the towels.

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