Mahler 5

I was so relieved when they let me out of that horrifyingly awful hospital, you can imagine. That was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. As predicted, I missed the opera on Sunday evening but I did make it to Royal Festival Hall last night to hear Mahler’s 5th Symphony, which went SOME way towards redressing the horrible sense of injustice that distressed and hurt me more than my actual illness. My face is going down, by the way, so I’m not worried about that, the infection is retreating almost as fast as it arrived. I’m more inclined to cry about the secondary injuries that they inflicted on my arm when they forced in a cannula that was too large.

ANYWAY, you can imagine how deeply glad I was to be back in the world of the living, away from that screaming house of horrors. I am never going to hospital again, I will just let myself die next time. I will put on some Mahler and die with dignity. Here is Mahler’s 5th, being performed in Switzerland in 2004, and here is Mahler’s annotated conducting score. Apparently he was utterly obsessive about detail, authoritarian and prone to anger and so he was “regarded with respect, if not affection” by the orchestra, according to the concert programme. I have a lot of sympathy for him. I’m not interested in being popular, I just want everything and everybody working to a high standard. Do your bloody job bloody correctly or go home.




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