Month: January 2017

I am also quite serious about physical health.

Good, in fact Amazing.

I went to my gym again today, for the third time in five days. I did 65 minutes of brisk marching on the treadmill. When you add walking to and from the gym to that, I had 80 minutes of cardio today, which is quite good, isn’t it. I am fatter than I would like to be but I am not freaking out about it and I know from experience that if I simply keep going to the gym then I will lose my excess fat over about 3 months.

Regularly going to the gym also stops me from smoking, which is perhaps the major crime that I’ve ever committed against myself. So there we go. I am a non-smoking, regular gym-goer, which is great, isn’t it.


Not Good, in fact Dire.

Oh god, my teeth. What I really mean is oh god, my gums. I have periodontitis, which is an incurable but somewhat manageable condition. I have had it for years and as I am getting older it is getting quite bad, no matter what I do. I’m extremely self conscious about it, despite the amount of cosmetic dental work I’ve had. I find the appearance of my teeth and gums varies dramatically depending on which mirror I’m looking in and what the lighting is like. The mirror in my own bathroom plays cruel jokes on me and tells me that my teeth and gums look okay. But then quite a lot of other locations, like the mirror at the gym, for example, tell me that I have teeth and gums out of a horror movie.

I feel that my regular dentist is not taking my periodontitis seriously enough, maybe because he thinks I’m not taking it seriously enough. I have just emailed my super amazing periodontist who helped me with my gums and implants a few years ago and begged him to rescue me. On the agenda:

  • I have a sonic toothbrush, a newly purchased air flosser, I quit smoking and I use hyaluronic mouthwash and gel. Is there anything else I can be doing?
  • I am not really happy to hear my normal dentist’s opinion that we can’t do an implant on the left side of my face because there isn’t enough bone. Let’s do a bone graft then. That’s what we did on the right side. Let’s just do it. I’m not as interested in temporary solutions.
  • The bones in my face are gradually dissolving. What are we going to do to get this under control? I’m not stupid. If we don’t get it under control then eventually there won’t be enough bone even for traditional dentures, never mind implants. Meanwhile, I’m only 50, I could conceivably live quite a lot longer and I have to look presentable for business. What’s the plan? I don’t mind spending money on having my face reconstructed.

Misery. At least I am going to the gym, so there’s that.

I am really serious about mental health.

My life is in a state of flux, as it often is. I have left behind that awful, miserable job (I have had nightmares about it since I left), and that’s obviously a good thing but also it was supplying me with a lot of social interaction and love because I was being hero-worshipped by 200 clients and that’s enough to boost anyone’s dopamine levels. That’s gone now.

Other things that I have traditionally relied on to boost dopamine: (1) romantic love – which I am missing terribly and could weep for if I let myself and (2) smoking this and that, which I am not doing any more because my lungs and teeth are not coping with it.

I am rather inspired by my friend who has had the most dreadful time recently. She lives alone like me and has recovered from a hip replacement with almost no help and is breaking up with her boyfriend of 10 years, which is a miserable experience for anyone, even when the fucker needs to go (I never liked him). Despite these gigantic challenges, she is as upright and future-facing as I’ve ever seen her and so how can I do anything but follow her example.

I now have the great luxury and privilege of only working one job and I know from experience that my business succeeds when I am happy and confident, so that’s an easy formula, isn’t it. It’s not rocket science.

This means I have TIME outside of work, which seems like a magnificent luxury after 1.5 years of working two full-time jobs. Here’s what I am doing with my glorious TIME that is designed to meet my social needs, keep my brain awake and keep lots of dopamine pumping around my system.

  • I went to the GYM on Friday morning! Seriously!!! I amaze myself sometimes. I walked right in there, all my stuff was still in my locker, just like I’d never been away. I went for a swim. At 6.30am. I am going to attempt to do that again tomorrow. It’s a time of day when the pool is not crowded.
  • I am going to go out ALL the time and see EVERYTHING around London. Everything. This is one of the greatest cities in the world, if not the greatest, and I am going to industriously see all of it. I even joined MeetUp so I can go and do more things and meet people.
  • I just plucked up my courage and emailed my neighbourhood community choir and told them I want to join, if they will have me, and I am coming to rehearsals on Thursday.

I am still video gaming and I am still doing some online dating but I am going to make a priority of doing activities that involve going outside and having relationships with people that aren’t based on casual sex, or indeed unfulfilled romantic pipe dreams.

Are you impressed? I am. I am a mental health warrior.

If you can’t find something, clean up.

FFS. This is not what I had on my agenda today. My plan for today was: go out and get some exercise; go to the Natural History Museum; go to friend’s anniversary party this evening, bearing gift which was purchased earlier in the day.

It’s already 11am and I’m still at home. I managed to thoroughly lose my phone within 5 or 10 minutes of waking up and I can’t find it anywhere so I’m cleaning my house instead getting everything else done. I suppose it was about time I did some more housework, a month seems to have elapsed since the last bout. I have no idea how other people manage to stay on top of it.

Around London: Cornelissen’s, British Museum, Montague Hotel

I was out around London again. It strikes me as a minor tragedy that the Person who I loved quite a lot does not come with me, but I am certainly not going to let that stop me from doing all my errands and holding business meetings in nice places.

I happened across this lovely shop:

I couldn’t linger, however, as I was on my way to the British Museum to meet someone for a business lunch. While I was there I took the opportunity to look at some interesting Africana, mainly masks.



Day of the Dead sculptures hanging from the ceiling near the entrance.

After that I had a second business meeting at a restaurant called the Blue Door Bistro at the Montague Hotel. Very nice place. They were playing jazz.


That’s what I needed. I was struggling a little bit this morning with a pile of routine tasks, then my favourite client called and talked about sending me to Nigeria in 2017, with the emphasis on sooner rather than later.

That’s better. I like money coming in and I like to be busy.

Yay! When I get confirmation of the project going ahead, with some dates in the diary, I will get excited. More travel, this is what I need. Africa. I have my best experiences and enjoy my independence the most when I am travelling.

Around London: Pollocks, Tate Modern, Rauschenberg

If I were collecting Achievement points, I’d be doing reasonably well. I’m seeing family and friends and going out around London, seeing art and various things.

London is full of surprises. I was on my way somewhere completely unrelated on Saturday and happened across this.

Today I was at Tate Modern, having a business lunch. Plenty of fish, not too many chips.

While I was there I viewed the Rauschenberg exhibition and of course purchased a catalogue, to support the exhibition and add to my art library. It is on until 2 April. You can learn more about the artist here.