Re-focus: The day after the last day.

The day after the last day is weird. I can take my energy and focus off the World’s Worst Company, now we’ve reached the end of the season and I have left the building. That’s a big relief. I can detach emotionally and I don’t have to keep expending all that energy.

Because today is still only Day 1 of not having to go there any more, the benefits of increased time and energy that I am about to start enjoying haven’t materialised yet so I’m sort of in limbo today. I’m not quite as physically broken down as I expected to be by December, which is good. It’s not as bad as it was last December, my flat has some working lightbulbs and I have opened the post more recently than 3 months ago.

I am obviously really happy that I’ve left. That last 12-week season was an Olympic event of energy, endurance, discipline, creativity and many other things. As I take stock of the new situation and attempt to detach myself from the life and relationships that dominated my thoughts and attention yesterday, I realise that it’s up to me now to decide how I want to spend my new currency. It’s time to stop spending loads of money to support a brutal lifestyle and start spending the new currency of time and attention so I can edge closer to The Life You Want.

Here’s what I want to do with the time and energy that I’ve been pouring into the job I no longer have to show up for.

  • Actively take care of my health.
  • Go to my gym and use the pool. I missed the gym, I actually wanted to go.
  • Finances. Control the tax situation. Sort out personal finances.
  • Enjoy having a clean house. This will take some work but I can totally do it.
  • Dating and sex, yay, eg the Scandinavian scientist has politely waited for me and is consistently interested in me in an uncomplicated way. Also I can start online dating again if I want to, probably will have a look in the new year. I will need new photos.
  • Video gaming. Very important. I am not giving this up, no matter what, no matter how old I get or how much work I have on. I will never quit gaming. I’m thinking about playing Final Fantasy 15.
  • Making my commercial clients happy, they are the ones with the money and they act like professionals who have their shit together.
  • As much business travel as I can generate because that was the highlight of 2016, I love to travel and I want more.
  • I will be able to pursue some of my many interests. About 12 films came out in the last 2 years that I haven’t seen and are on my list. I used to knit avidly. I started drawing and I have a lot of art materials. I used to study Chinese. All of that is self-care and it deserves some of my time. I don’t have to keep giving all of my time to other people. I am allowed to use it for me.
  • Rest, down time, sleep.

I have about 2 days of work to do for my own business before Tuesday but it will be okay. It is okay to have a day off today if I want one. I don’t have to do anything if I don’t want to. I think I will search the kitchen for something for breakfast and take it from there.

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