Caffeine withdrawal

So. My teeth have been bleached and I have quit everything.

Quitting tobacco – no problems. I miss smoking, of course I do, but I unproblematically feel healthier, right away. You feel better on Day 1 and you keep feeling better.

Caffeine, that is another matter. Evidently I had a MASSIVE caffeine addiction. It’s been several days now, over a week and even when I deliberately relapse and drink coffee to try and reset my brain and feel normal, it doesn’t work. My brain was glued together on a constant diet of coffee and having one cup of coffee here and there makes no difference.

If you are a massive coffee drinker like me and you suddenly go cold turkey, here’s what to expect. Headaches, this will pass after a couple of days, so not as bad as you might think. Upset stomach, flu symptoms. All this will go after 2-3 days. Symptoms that are in full force over a week later:

  • Fatigue. Need for sleep goes through the roof.
  • Tendency to pass out at odd times, including at work.
  • Sweating.
  • Tinnitus spikes and reaches deafening levels of noise.
  • Irritability (ha, good thing I’m leaving this job, I am so ragey).
  • Nightmares. God. Undisturbed sleep would be nice. I started to have a nightmare just now and I woke myself up by yelling at it to fuck off because I don’t have the patience to tolerate my own dreams.

Come on brain, sort it out. If you can’t reset yourself in a few more days I will start taking Starbucks intravenously.

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