Red Bull does not give you wings.


One 250ml can of Red Bull: 80mg caffeine.

Two Pro-Plus caffeine pills (“equal to one cup of coffee”, lol): 100mg caffeine.

One Starbucks Grande Latte: 150mg caffeine. Grande isn’t even the largest size, it is medium size.

One Starbucks Grande Americano: 225mg caffeine.

In other words, I would have to drink THREE cans of Red Bull to achieve the effect of one Starbucks Americano.

As I can easily put away three or more Americanos in the course of one 16-hour working day, and as I can no longer drink any coffee at all due to my freshly bleached teeth, that fully explains why I have been passing out at my desk.

Red Bull. Weak as child’s piss. Maybe that could be their new strapline.

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