Month: September 2016

Tuesday is the new Saturday.

I RULED today. I OWNED everything.

I gave two presentations to large audiences who loved me and after knowing me for 2 weeks are starting to think I’m an actual celebrity AS WELL THEY MIGHT.

I wore the shit out of a Ted Baker coat, causing 2 random members of the public  who don’t even work for my company to comment on my awesome fashion choices.

I sang today at the top of my lungs. I saw some art.

I went for a meeting with my senior colleagues and presented some figures showing how customer numbers on the projects I’m involved in have suddenly gone through the roof.

I am a star. Even my colleagues who don’t like me thought I was awesome today. Let’s have some more of that, shall we. THANK YOU. Told you I was good.

Nelly: Hot In Herre (2002)

Things I am looking forward to.

I don’t think I’m moving to the US, I am a lot more expensive than he thought I was going to be. I think he was being a bit naive about the size of incentive I would require to disrupt a London-based business and move somewhere in the US that isn’t within 60 minutes of a major international airport. Anyway, it was nice of him to invite me, even if I cost more than he thought.

Here’s a list of things I am looking forward to, because it needs to go somewhere.

  • Getting over my cold. I have a dreadful cold and feel dizzy and light-headed, it needs to stop, I am busy.
  • The Scandinavian scientist returning to the UK following a science field trip. He’s been away for 2 weeks. One more week to go.
  • CLOTHES. I have a minimum of 11 more weeks at the world’s most horrible company. The list of reasons why I want to be there is almost completely extinguished now but what remains is my wardrobe. FASHION IS DANGER.

Flight of the Conchords: Fashion is Danger

Would you like to move to America?

I’ve just completed the first week of work at the horrible day job.

My retro floral dress with the giant skirt was a smash hit and my life now revolves around the next 11 Tuesdays because that’s the big dressing-up day when I deliver presentations to large audiences.

In every respect that I am not directly in control of, the job continued to be a huge pile of organisational fail. I am sitting at my desk at home right now, past midnight on the weekend, and I am doing what I would regard as admin and I am being paid admin wages to do it. I am terribly over-qualified for nearly all the things they want me to do, which strikes me as very poor use of my time and skills, and the things I’m qualified to do are things that the organisation does not have processes or even names for. I am frustrated and I do not see many opportunities here to advance my career, I like our customers a lot and I like the Terminator, but I don’t know if that’s enough.

Now for some ironic events.

Do you remember, on this very blog, about five years ago, I blogged about going to the Savoy for dinner. An elderly and rich lawyer who I met through OKCupid flew into London to take me to one of the world’s poshest hotels for chateaubriand.

Well, we have stayed in touch. He’s now 90 and beginning(!) to slow down. He would like a companion, as his age finally catches up with him. He’s just asked me if I would like to move to the north-eastern United States, move into his house, drive his car and conduct my business there. He can introduce me around to his lawyer friends and I can establish a local client base.

So there you go. My life is not boring, is it. There’s plenty going on. I am obviously thinking about it. I think I would like to get married if I am going to move that kind of distance.


Will you look at that. It has foxes on it, and snow. Come December, I am wearing that to work.


I started the big round of dental work today. I am taking antibiotics and all I want to do is sleep but I need to clean my house again, open the post, send some invoices and generally do some more work.

The first of the Big Dresses is tomorrow, it is a red and pink floral number, as you know, and I am going to wear a large pink tulle petticoat, like you see there, except frothier.

Fashion week

I have such a busy week ahead of me, I will be out every day, I start early, I have presentations and meetings all day and I have business meetings in the evening.

I am not meal planning, I am going to be eating out a lot. I am, however, planning my clothes. I just had to write ‘choose outfits for the week, iron as necessary’ on my already crammed task list because I will not have a fun time trying to pick out clothes at six in the morning when I was out the night before.

I’m not the slimmest I’ve ever been, currently tipping the scales at 156 pounds, up 9 pounds since I was in the US in July. This also requires careful dressing. So here’s what I’m thinking of wearing to work.


No meetings today. Dentist. I have just committed to another round of work to rehabilitate my teeth. My dentist is happy because I am single-handedly funding his future retirement. I am happy because he does a good job on my teeth and doesn’t judge me for drinking coffee and smoking.


A heavy work day involving 2 presentations to large audiences. First day of the new season. A good reason to dress up.


Action: needs ironing.


A lunch meeting and then later a business dinner with an old business associate who is shamelessly flirting with me (the Scandinavian scientist is away, she said, a propos of nothing). That’s a lot of food in one day. This silky viscose dress by Phase Eight is forgiving around the middle and gives me knockout cleavage.


Action: find dress, pick out shoes, accessories, outerwear.


Host and facilitate workshops all day. This Banana Republic dress is generously sized and is fun while being less theatrical than Tuesday outfits.

floral dress

Action: pick shoes, accessories, etc.

To-Do List

  • lay off the carbs NAO. In fact, stop eating outside of meetings.
  • start following the dentist’s instructions, work begins this week

Ooh, I am excited about my business date on Wednesday. Glad I bought that new bra.

You’ve really got to get up and dance to this. You know I don’t lie about these matters.

Suzanne Paul: Blue Monkey.


My day job at the horrible company starts next week. I just got a look at my client list, I’ll be working with these people for the next 3 months.

One of the projects I am running this season has attracted double the number of clients compared to when I inherited it this time last year. Why? Because my name is on it and I am a superstar. 90 people signed up for that project. 90 of them. I am so fucking flattered. I’d like to see anyone else in that company pull a crowd that large without trying.

All this makes the whole situation a lot better. I am ready for some client love. I’m also ready to wear some CLOTHES. Are you ready to rock 12 weeks of FASHIONS? You better be. I’m thinking of wearing this on the first day.