I literally cannot even.

I might as well tell you, I’ve already emailed Human Resources once today.

So here was the highlight of my day at work. For those of you who enjoy this type of humour. Context for new readers: I am a business person who has recently moved into a new sector where things are beyond chaotic and not at all in line with the previous experience of my 30-year career. It is like being on another planet. Now read on.

Colleague At The Same Level As Me: blah chat blah.

Me: Right. So while we are chatting, let me ask you for some more information about this product we are launching. The new product that this organisation wants me to invest intellectual property, brand equity and a valuable client list in. That new product. So just to confirm, when we last spoke you said that a knock-off rival product at a stupid discount price is being competitively launched by another department within our own organisation, is that right. Thus cannibalising our own brands.

CATSLAM: Yes, that’s right.

Me: I see. This is obviously a bit stupid, yes? It is a bit stupid even by our usual standards.

CATSLAM: Yes, it is.

Me: So, can you tell me who in the organisation is responsible for both of these departments?

CATSLAM: Yes, that would be Dr Jones.

Me: And why are we not having a meeting with Dr Jones? We have one single brand that we offer the public, yet within that we have two departments that are behaving like independent states. If that were my company, I would want to know if they were undermining each other and playing price wars with near-identical products that are being launched at the same time. This has got to be his decision and it is a business decision.

CATSLAM: Well, I don’t think he is going to care. I think he will say ‘sort it out amongst yourselves’.

Me: But it is his business.

CATSLAM: I know.

Me: …

Me: WHY am I surprised? Why? I have been here six months. WHY do I not learn?





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