I am experiencing a bit of heartbreak this evening. I say ‘a bit’. It is all mixed up with the emotional conflict I feel about my day job, which adds up to a lot. The whole thing is making me question what my life is for. Love is really important. This job might not be the right place for me if it means I can’t date any more, which it does. It is not good for me. Apart from destroying my health and making abusive management decisions, it has prevented me from introducing any romantic diversion into my life, while throwing me in the path of someone who I now love quite deeply for absolutely no recognition or return on investment.

Is it worth it for what they are paying me? I honestly don’t know. All I know right now is that it is midnight and I love someone who has forgotten me even though we were in each other’s daily schedules 8 weeks ago. Apparently 8 weeks is a long time. I would have preferred the Honcho, at least he wasn’t mixed up in my career.

Skinnyman: When I Give My Heart.

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