I don’t know what to do with myself.

It’s 7am and I should be getting ready to go to work.

I don’t want to go. We’ve reached that point where it makes me feel sick and depressed at the thought of having to go into the office.

They are costing me £1,500 today, equivalent to two weeks’ pay.

They said they didn’t need me on site today. I scheduled another appointment. Then they fucking freaked yesterday, with less than 24 hours notice, and are insistent that the world is going to stop turning if I don’t go in.

I had to cancel a meeting with a client. She wants a £1,500 refund. More importantly, she probably won’t do business with me again.

I don’t know how I can carry on. At first I thought that there were enough professionals in this organisation that we could carry the dead wood. Then I started to think that there aren’t any professionals in this organisation except for me, and I still thought I could make a difference. Now I don’t think that any more. I think I’m being robbed. I think this organisation will happily sit and watch me go out of business and watch itself go out of business. It is a sinking ship.

 

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