How my life changes shape, in this time of relative crisis. Every hour I that invest in one activity and not another has rapid consequences. Networks of hope, support and affliation change fluidly. It is interesting. Current state of play:
– I am relatively calm today because I have successfully netted a magnificent one day of work. I command pretty good rates, even at freelance prices and it will pay one round of bills. It also means that there is more work where that came from. This has significantly reduced my anxiety.
– Two employers turned me down and I’m not that sad because see above and they were jobs that I would have been good at but not overjoyed about doing.
– One friend wrote me a letter and said we can’t be friends any more because he is having psychological issues. What can I say. You have to let people do what they need to do. Position your own oxygen mask before helping others.
– There is a relationship waiting to happen that could potentially ease at least a few financial problems and that I am gradually emotionally preparing myself for and committing to. It is very 19th century. Not coincidentally, I am reading Henry James.
– I sent a sample chapter of my book to my friend the editor. She became excited. She is in the US. I am British. The US is obviously a much bigger market. She is going to talk to a colleague who is a publisher about my book. She said, “he might want to publish it himself or he might be able to find you the right literary agent”.
– Today I continued writing because it is starting to feel very urgent that I say all these things in a publishable format, before somebody gives me a job and uses up all my time. I started writing an important chapter, it flows naturally but it is long and content-rich. I now realise it is two chapters. I also realise that the structure of my book is going to be more thematic and less procedural than I thought. I cancelled a dinner engagement this evening so I can keep writing. These two chapters will be completed very soon. Three sample chapters, in total, are more than enough to support a proposal so at that point I will stop writing content and get on with the proposal itself and we are good to go.
This is the way my life is changing.