I suppose these things have to happen once or twice over the festive season, don’t they. One isn’t going to make it through two weeks of Christmas celebrations in a state of complete sobriety.
I was slightly concerned that we are already one-third of the way through The Christmas You Want and I am not getting enough video gaming done. I was starting to think that I would have to cut out the movie-watching to make time for more gaming. But then, just as I was starting to get a bit uptight about my schedule, the lovely Socrates came over to spend the afternoon with me. We got drunk on Prosecco, served in margarita glasses like you see in films (see left), and he did unspeakable things to me that would have made young Leroy sick with jealousy had he been present to witness it, which fortunately he wasn’t.
Now I am wazzed and I no longer care about schedules and time and whatnot. I am eating an early dinner consisting of beef casserole with dumplings and after that I haven’t decided what I am doing. I might just watch South Park and read Viz comic. I don’t know yet.
Christmas is almost here. The supermarket has delivered the sprouts, roasting potatoes and turkey for Christmas dinner, also mince pies and a free box of chocolates. All my cards were sent days ago because I am so organised. Cards are still arriving chez Gloria every day, as are Xmas text messages, from friends and lovers, including that guy I fell in love with in Egypt last year. All the presents for my little nieces and nephews have been dispatched to the relevant city via a courier, which saved the day because I couldn’t take them myself because of the flu. There are a few presents for me which I am going to put under the tree this evening, to make it look pretty. We are all set. Everything is ready. I am going to make a big cup of tea, stick some gold bows on the remaining gifts and try to sober up.
Monty Python: Christmas in Heaven (The Meaning of Life, 1983)