It is six am.

I went to bed for two hours, as described earlier, and rose at midnight to continue doing the motherfucking Home Improvements because otherwise there will be no space in which to have a business meeting in five hours from now.

For the record, carefully putting the entire contents of your house back where they should be is not quicker than packing them away in cardboard boxes in the first place. So that’s why I’m doing housework at night instead of sleeping. Those of you who don’t have full time jobs, don’t try and tell me you are busy because you haven’t met busy until you have to get your sleep in two-hour bursts.

Let’s check where we are up to. Stuff that is now done:

  • Kitchen. I have scrubbed the sink, draining board and counters. Cleaned inside the kitchen cupboards. Returned the saucepans, casserole dishes, crockery, glassware, tupperware, mixing bowls, baking trays, roasting pans and all the rest of it to the newly cleaned cupboards. Cleaned the drawers. I still have cardboard boxes sitting around the kitchen that contain cleaning materials, baking ingredients and piles of utensils such as wooden spoons and spatulas and whatnot but they will have to stay right where they are for the time being, they are not hurting anybody. I can see that despite the decluttering there really isn’t enough space in my tiny kitchen and I will have to visit Homebase again and look at some storage solutions, I could maybe squeeze in a set of big plastic drawers or something.
  • Living room. I re-hung the curtain at the side window, which took several attempts as the hooks are gone and the new window frames are plastic, not wood, meaning that I can’t screw anything into them. So I had to be inventive and it took about 90 minutes to come up with a solution that worked. Trimmed the curtains down and pinned the hems to make them the correct length for the window (they have never been right since I moved in here). Dusted the shelves. Cleaned the ornaments and glassware and put them back on the shelves. Put the bookcase back in the right spot.
  • Back room. Unloaded, moved and restacked piles of boxes in a way that permits access to my Xmas wrapping, cards and gifts and also the ironing board.

Stuff that I need to do next:

  • Living room. Refill the bookcase. Put the ornaments and Xmas decorations back. Put the tree back. Collapse all the now-empty cardboard boxes and put them back in the hall cupboard.
  • Bathroom. Remove cardboard boxes of bathroom items from the living room and put them away in the bathroom where they belong.

Stuff that can wait until after the next time I’ve seen my bed again, whenever that may be:

  • Decorating the hall.
  • Wrapping children’s gifts.
  • Writing cards.
  • Finishing my colleague’s baby blanket.

I am collecting a Home point for this. 1 Home point. I’ve never done so much work on my house in such a compressed amount of time. It’s ridiculous. It’s like an Olympic event. Right, I must go, it’s 6am, the sun will soon come up and my official work day is going to begin all too soon.

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