In which we swap the cooker hood for something MUCH BETTER.

It’s official. Grand Theft Auto V is officially the UK’s best-selling game of all time.

gta 5

I don’t usually argue with numbers like that. But wait. Before we get too excited about GTA V, as magnificent as it may be. As you know, I have been wild-eyed with excitement since learning that GTA IV: San Andreas has just been remastered for the Xbox 360. This is my very last chance to play San Andreas as it will not be released a third time, and I will commit ritual suicide out of regret if I let it pass me by.


Oh yeah, baby. Fuck yeah. I don’t know what I was even thinking, buying a cooker hood in the first place. I called the kitchen appliances company, told them the appalling tale of who did nothing but come to my house, drill a hole in my kitchen cupboards and then depart again, leaving the cooker hood in its original packaging, and when they realised I wasn’t going to demand that they pay for repairing my cupboards, they straight away agreed to refund me for the hood and the (much more expensive) installation fee, and sent me email confirmation to that effect.

You know how much money that came to? A lot. In fact, it was well in excess of the amount that it’s just cost me to buy a brand new Xbox 360 on Amazon, that, by the way, comes packaged with GTA V, plus Halo 4 and Gears of War: Judgement.

It’s being delivered tomorrow evening and I have someone who knows more about console gaming than I do coming over to help me set it up at the weekend because I need to hook it up to a monitor in a way that might need a special cable and then I need to download San Andreas and play that before I even take a look at GTA 5. I am so excited, I literally cannot even.

That’s it. That’s my Christmas sorted, I am staying indoors and gaming for two weeks. That Is It.

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