The fucking cooker hood.

On the first day of Christmas, knowhow.com said to me “I can’t fit your cooker hood as I am not qualified, I am only a gas fitter.”

On the second day of Christmas, knowhow.com said to me “I will be round later” so I waited in all day and then they didn’t show up.

On the third day of Christmas, knowhow.com said to me “I don’t know what was wrong with the first guy, it is only a couple of screws”, followed by “I can’t fit this, we will have to drill a hole and the screw will not go through there”.

“OK,” I sighed wearily. “Just take it away with you. I don’t need it. What is a cooker hood even for. Take it away and I will get a refund.”

“Oh,” they said, “we can’t take it away with us as we don’t have the right paperwork. You will have to get someone to come out.”

“I have to make a fourth appointment to get someone to come out and remove it”, I said. “Yes,” they replied. “Great. Thanks very much”, I said.

So that’s why I am not having a new cooker hood any more, because it is sucking the life out of me. I don’t care any more. I will have an empty space instead. And now I have to phone this fucking company and get them to come and remove this new cooker hood that nobody can fix to the wall and spend the rest of my days trying to get a refund.

empty space

hood in box

2 thoughts on “The fucking cooker hood.”

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