That dinner date tonight did me so much good. It was like a reminder of the person I used to be.
I had a 90-minute nap before going out, to preserve me from drug-induced fatigue later on. Then I flattened my hair into a shape that I don’t hate too much (I still don’t like this haircut, I think it is putting 10 years on me, but it can’t be helped until it grows back a bit more) and put on some make-up. Proper make-up, with primer and all that stuff that makes your skin look good.
Then I put on an outfit consisting of my favourite long summer dress, the one that flatters my boobs and hides my belly, a pair of comfortable bejewelled flip-flops and my light wool shawl. An outfit that I later realised I have not worn since I had that deeply romantic affair with young Hussein in Jordan last September. An outfit that therefore has happy and romantic memories.
I went to the restaurant – I even listened to music on the tube on the way there – and had dinner with Gustave (26) who was very French and reminded me a lot of Marcel, who I dated for about four months a while back.
Gustave is new in London and is very shy, probably not helped by the fact that I am 20 years older than him. He does not have Hussein’s confidence, but he was pretty and sweet. I couldn’t exactly tell how much he fancied me (I am sure we can easily gauge this by whether or not I hear from him between now and the weekend) and it kind of doesn’t matter. The important thing is that I went out on a date and was a lot like the person I used to be before the Crime happened. I even had a glass of wine, having not had a drink that I can really remember since I was living it up in Santiago in April.
Oh god, that was so nice. It was like having my old life back for a few hours.
When I got home I realised that my house smells funny and that’s how badly I need to do some housework, also that’s how long it is since I’ve actually been out of the house.
There is another date expected later this week with the entrepreneur, also 26. If that happens, I expect that he will be less shy, he is very outgoing.
I am newly motivated to go back to the gym.
I am also thinking of phoning the cosmetic surgery clinic that removed my cyst in 2011 or whenever it was and seeing how much it would cost to do an upper eye lift. It’s not going to be cheap, on the other hand it will be fraction of what I’ve spent on my teeth.
And that’s all tonight’s news. Hooray! I think everything is going to be okay. 1 Survival point.