Maybe it was hormonal. I am thankful and relieved to report that I am in a slightly better mood this morning, for no special reason.
The house is starting to look gradually better and I am glad I shifted all those cardboard boxes (there were a lot) and cleared out the hall cupboard. My next point of focus is going to be the main bathroom. I have piles of assorted cosmetics and toiletries, some of which must be 10 years old, they cover every surface of the bathroom, like mould, and I even still have things in cardboard boxes in there which have been there since I moved in several years ago. So that’s the next thing. I am going to throw out a bunch of stuff and put what’s left in even more plastic storage units (they must bloody love me at Homebase, I am single-handedly buying them out of plastic drawers and crates).
The Honcho emailed me this morning and expressed the remarkable view that we are not suited to being in a relationship (I know, you are shocked). I didn’t bother arguing or pointing out that it’s because he’s not offering anything that anyone in their right mind would want. I just said ‘Ok’. So that’s that, until the next time he gets all horny and can’t get any attention from anyone else, or until the next time I’m deluded enough to think that we’re going to be able to sustain a conversation without me wanting to throttle him.
I got on the scales this morning for the first time in months and I do not actually weigh 300 pounds, which is what it feels like. I weigh 145 pounds. So I’ve regained 12 pounds in the four months since I hit my goal weight and that’s why I’m not going to be eating any more cheese on toast. I’m not desperately unhappy with this result on the scales because I feel like an elephant so it was actually kind of reassuring that I have not grown to proportions that will prevent me from leaving the house.
Shall we have a tune? I feel that it’s terribly important to do that right now, in case my unexpected and relatively happy mood suddenly wears off. Let’s have some lovely Marc Almond. He’s gay and he knows about tragedy. You don’t have to dance, but you must sing along.
It was a kind of so-so love and I’m gonna make sure it never happens again.
Soft Cell: Say Hello, Wave Goodbye