Good morning readers!
Slimming & Fitness
Well well. So first of all, I am dieting. If you could see the great big latte I am about to drink, you would not think so. But trust me. I am cutting right back on carbs. Yesterday I wanted a snack so I had a hard boiled egg wrapped in a slice of cheese.
I had an epic gym session yesterday. I did weight training AND I spent an hour on the treadmill AND I then swam 60 lengths of the pool, which is the most I’ve ever swum in one go. Imagine how tired I was when I got home.
136 pounds. Yes, you heard me right. I’ve lost another two pounds. This is the lowest weight I’ve ever achieved since TLYW records began and it is only THREE pounds off my goal weight. I was so stunned that I tried on the Speedo bikini again. I no longer look like a darts player in it. I just look like a woman who is too fat for her bikini bottoms. They look bad. But they don’t look terrible. So we will press on. I will try to shift another three pounds and then we will see what’s what.
I need to pay more attention to Disraeli. I have neglected him over the last couple of days, because of gym and also because of
The Head Honcho is making the most sincere effort he’s ever made to act normal and talk to me like a human being and try to salvage something out of our horribly poor relationship.
HH: Blah blah blah, let’s do that, that will be fun.
GS: Sigh. OK, if you want to.
HH: You’re not happy, are you. (This is a very rare example of acknowledging my feelings, so rare it is nearly unprecedented and is a massive gesture of goodwill.)
GS: Of course not. This is a terrible relationship and I am regularly very unhappy indeed.
HH: Tell me why you are unhappy.
GS: Are you sure? It’s not like I didn’t tell you a whole lot of times when I wanted to kill you back in August.
HH: Of course I’m sure. Tell me what’s wrong.
GS: OK. You asked for it. Head Honcho, I love you. I think you might be the most amazing person I’ve ever met. But this is a terrible relationship and I regularly wish that a bomb would fall on your house because blah blah blah blah blah.
So that is where we are up to. And now I need to read the long email that Disraeli sent me that I haven’t even opened.
In other Honcho news, he sent me a photo. This would have made me so, so happy if he’d sent it to me on or near my birthday TWO YEARS AGO when I asked him for it. He said he would send it and it never materialised. Last night one finally arrived. It is hard not to look at it because it is a face I was born to love. But it is also a sad thing, not just because it took two years to show up but because he is getting older. He’s more lined than he was and he is starting to go grey in his beard. And the truth, readers, is that I too look older than I did two years ago. It’s not a huge, dramatic difference, I’m still the same person and I’m still very attractive and I’m slimmer now which is a bonus. But the fact remains that I have grey hair now as well, which I regularly have to see the hairdresser about, and my skin is gradually losing its fine texture. Neither of us is getting any younger. I almost said it to him. We should be loving each other now while we are both still pretty. Time is no longer on our side.
I am going to the gym. If I cannot be with the man I love, then I will be in the pool.
3 Health points.
Tenor Saw: Ring The Alarm (1985)