I didn’t get up at 5.30, which is what breakfast with Delroy the Beautiful would have entailed, but I was early for my business meeting, so all’s well that ends well. I will have to make a point of going to the gym early in the mornings from now on so I can see him, which is what I wanted to do anyway so that’s good. I really like it when romantic interest lines up with my diet and fitness objectives.

I got on the Magic Scales of Flattery again this morning and apparently I am down to 140 lbs. I don’t feel that skinny and I am not pleased with my silhouette but on the other hand I can fit into my tiniest jeans, just about, so that means something. I don’t know. I look in the mirror and I look enormous. You should have seen the amount of spare flesh that I had to cram into my Gossard waist cincher this morning. I don’t know what to think. I don’t look or feel like I’m only 2 lbs over my lowest ever weight. I am just going to continue superstitiously going to the gym and put my faith in that because it hasn’t let me down in the past.

In other Magickal news, let us discuss The Method and what results it is yielding.

Disraeli – is head over heels in love and has started a vigorous exercise regime because he wants to give me what I want, and what I want is arm candy. I would remind you that I haven’t removed a single item of clothing in the presence of this gentleman, nor have I even kissed him beyond a very chaste peck on the lips.

The Young Scientist – This is a rival of Disraeli’s and is the gentleman who felt moved to get on his knees in a clothes shop while on a lunch date with me the other day. I am not even investing that much time or interest in him. I don’t spend a lot of time talking to him, which I do with Disraeli, and I have explicitly told him that I am involved with other people and he shouldn’t get emotionally attached to me. Guess what is happening. Yes, exactly so.

The Head Honcho – is the most interested in me that he has been in months. I think he likes teaching me. It is a better way of relating to each other. He speaks to me like I have some degree of intelligence. I don’t understand all the things he says but I hope we can keep things on an even keel long enough for me to find out. ‘Trust your instincts’, he says. ‘Question yourself less and listen to your feelings more’, he says. It is fascinating to me. I’ve known him for nearly two and a half years and he is finally talking to me using words such as ‘relationship’ and ‘feelings’. Words that I would have killed for two years ago when I loved him like Disraeli is starting to love me.

Let’s play a tune for the boss. This is proper reggae, a deep, dirty track that is quite unlike the happy dancehall and rocksteady that I often play to get you on your feet. Enjoy the sounds. Probably best if you don’t listen to the lyrics too closely as they are just plain disturbing, a bit like my main man.

Eek-A-Mouse: Wa Do Dem (1981)

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