Competitive Swimming

I deleted and blocked him from Skype and went to the gym. I was not in the best of tempers but it is entirely my own fault, how long is it since the Honcho put me in the best of tempers. Right, about two years, exactly.

I power walked on the treadmill for an hour and then I didn’t feel like doing any weight training so I skipped it. I can do it tomorrow. I wasn’t in the mood. Then I went to the pool and swam 50 lengths, which was heroically self-sacrificing of me, because see earlier notes on swimming goggles giving you instant eye bags.

When I was in the pool, a man my age unnecessarily jumped into the water near me, making a splash. It was almost as though he wanted to be noticed. We swam up and down the same lane. I could see that while his swimming was okay, it was not that fast and it was not better than mine. I was not in the mood to be friendly to him so I didn’t smile but I did look at him just long enough to let him know I’d noticed him. Then what I did was wait at the end of the pool for him to catch up with me, so we were starting the next length at the exact same time. We set off. I swam as hard as I could and I beat him easily. Waited for him at the other end of the pool to start the next length. Started at the same time and I beat him again. Then I beat him again and again and again. I counted 18 lengths before he gave up and got out of the water. Then I finished my 50 lengths feeling smug because fuck him. I am a terrible athlete. If you are not more athletic than I am, then you are not even trying. I only learned to swim, like, last week. He’s probably one of these people that goes to the gym a lot every January, never to return.

I am in a Mood. Can you tell? Celibacy does not agree with me. If we were not in the middle of The Hills Are Alive and if I did not have Little G living at my house I would have clubbed one of the younger gym members insensible and dragged him home with me to use as a sex toy.

I have decided that I am not going to touch Delroy the Beautiful. He is a precious angel and I am not going to spoil him. As long as I leave him untouched, it will be a perfect romance for ever and ever. Or until he doesn’t work there any more. Whichever.

Let’s have some Alton Ellis. Choon.

It can break your heart.

Alton Ellis: Too Late To Turn Back Now (1973)


2 Health points.


hills sex

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