Readers, I am back in London. I have exchanged Xmas greetings with the entire family and incidentally scored two Friends points. Thanks to M&D for hosting the whole thing and patiently enduring everyone’s casual ingratitude.
Tomorrow I am making roast turkey dinner (stop laughing) for Little G and then we are into my absolute most favourite part of the holiday season, the part immediately around New Year, where you can kick back and relax and assess your options.
As the Christmas Angels programme suddenly crashed, taking me out of the dating game until mid-March 2014, and as I have eaten a disgusting amount of chocolate biscuits this Xmas and am bulging out all over, it is clear to me that I need a new mission, and what that mission should be. If I have to live like a nun for the next 10-12 weeks, well okay. I know how to do that. We’ve done it before, like when I had months of dental work. I will take this opportunity to attend church, I mean the gym, religiously every single day and I will not be tempted by romantic pursuits. If I do this and I now have no reason not to, I will be so buff by the middle of March. Just in time for spring. So that is the plan. Gym every day. Clean eating, clean living. Maybe get my teeth bleached. Maybe I will even have time to do some Chinese as well.
Welcome to the new regime. There is one turkey dinner between me and it.
Sing along now, do.
Notorious BIG ft. Too Short & Puff Daddy: The World Is Filled (1997)