OK. I went to visit my mom and now I feel better. About 80% of normal (thank you, Mom xxx). I know what to do now:

  1. Love who I am. I have never made the wrong decision whenever I’ve chosen to do things that help me remain non-monogamous and non-pregnant. I am not the one who is 60 years old and finding out the hard way that they aren’t cut out for long-term, monogamous relationships. Living my life in a way that works for me is working for me.
  2. Forgive other people for not being exactly like me. It is not their fault. Just because I had certain experiences early in life, other people may still need to go through them when they are much older because they lived their lives in a different order. It is too bad that Sayed had to wait until he was 60 to find out that he doesn’t like being married, when anyone with experience of visiting that country could have told him he wasn’t going to like it, but it is what it is. He needed to do things in his own time. We just missed each other, that’s all. If I’d dated him when he was 25 and not 45 we would have had more in common.
  3. In light of the above, I am no longer dating anyone older than 33. Younger guys are less prone to hurtling up the aisle like lemmings over a cliff. Also, if I had known in 2000 what I know now, I would not have got involved with someone without checking what they are actually looking for. You may be thinking that the obvious purpose of a relationship is just everyone being happy and in love for the sheer pleasure of it, but your partner might be hell-bent on reproduction. So that’s definitely something you want to check out at an early stage. Just to be clear. And now for some music.

I thought I told you to shut u-u-up. Shut up, boyfriends from the past.

Flight of the Conchords: Carol Brown (Choir of Ex-Girlfriends)

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