I am a rubbish tourist.

Things I am failing to do on my holiday, doubtless to the detriment of the local economy:

– show the slightest interest in buying souvenirs.

– take advantage of any tourist entertainment, eg rides in glass-bottomed boats. I did all that in Egypt when I was with Little G, who has to be constantly entertained. I’m certainly not doing it all over again when I have the luxury of being on my own.

– eat any food outside of the hotel’s executive lounge where there is food that I already paid for.

– see any sites of historical or archaeological interest, even though there are loads. I might crack, out of guilt, and squeeze in something just prior to going home but then again I might not.

Things I do on my holiday, the first actual not-a-business-trip foreign holiday that I’ve taken alone in 10 years:

– eat small meals at set times. This is partly a result of belated thrift – see above – but it is working out great for dieting. I go to the executive lounge three times a day. There are “buffet snacks” there which are well prepared, healthy and more than adequate for a meal if you are not pigging out. I have breakfast (fruit) at 9.00, lunch at 2.00 and I show up for dinner on the dot of 7.00. I do not eat anything at all between meals and I don’t drink alcohol.

– in the morning, gym. I spend so much time on the treadmill that the staff pump their fists in encouragement when I’m sweating through the final half hour. I’m often the only guest in there and it’s starting to feel like my home. I sing along to the tunes on my iPhone and if my 10 miles of power walk runs out when a tune I like is still playing, I have a little dance right there on the motionless treadmill until the tune ends, because I just don’t care.

– in the afternoon, swim in the sea. I love it and stay in the water for hours. I love the sea. In a swimming pool at home I would feel obliged to be all serious and do lengths or something, not to mention the water would be cold & full of chlorine. But the sea is warm, clean & salty and there’s no pressure to do certain things so I sometimes do actual swimming, sometimes tread water and sometimes do exercises that I spontaneously made up.

I feel like I’m doing tourism wrong – I’ve barely left the hotel at all, hence lack of photos – but I’m having such fun. There are no scales handy but my clothes fit OK. In fact, I have bikinis here but I prefer my Speedo one piece swimsuits because they make me look more athletic.

If I get home in one piece, I am having one massive health point.

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