How to completely embarrass yourself and make yourself look mentally unbalanced in 5 easy steps.
- Have an argument with someone who’s not your boyfriend. Let about a week pass so he has a chance of forgetting about it, but continue to be quite angry.
- One morning, when you are ready, vomit up a good-size, chunky paragraph of ‘I hate you’ and ‘let me tell you why you are such a massive loser’.
- Don’t email him. Instead, and for no other reason than because he prefers you to use email, load up WhatsApp, check he has an account and then go ahead! Paste, then Send. Yay! That’ll teach him.
- Obsessively check WhatsApp all day before finally twigging that this is an application that he does not use. Probably the reason it thinks he was online at 1:00 this morning is because that’s what time he logged out of Facebook or whatever software he is actually using that he doesn’t realise WhatsApp is appended to.
- Imagine an occasion which will surely come, some day in the future, perhaps a long time away, where he’s innocently talking to someone else and goes ‘oh yeah, WhatsApp, I haven’t used that for months’ *pulls out phone*. ‘Oh.’
FFS. Fucking great. I am just going to pretend to myself that it didn’t happen.
In other news, I visited my sister and her babies so 1 Friends point.
KRS One: MCs Act Like They Don’t Know