Right, it looks like Summer of Love is back on and I’ve got about three days to clean up my house and lose enough girth to fit into attractive underwear. Here’s all your daily news.

Diet, Fitness & Getting in Shape

In my view, this project is just going appallingly. Yes, I walk 8 miles every day (1 Health point for today) and yes I go and lift weights at the gym 3-4 times a week, yes I’ve only been doing it for like 3 weeks and yes I have already sprouted some great muscles. However. I am not losing fat as fast as I think I should, and then I for some reason had a massive carbs binge at the weekend, I think I felt sorry for myself or something because I had a lot of work on so obviously I was obliged to eat pie and cookies. I now look absolutely enormous. I am really not happy at all. I am on an incredibly strict no-sugar etc etc no refined carbs diet as of right now. This is a bad situation. I am scared to get on the scales, I have barely eaten a thing today, yet I look huge, it has all got to go by Saturday morning. Jesus Christ. Why is getting in shape so hard.


Well well.

So normally, if I were going on a date, I would pick nice shoes and a nice outfit, probably a dress, arrange my hair, you know the routine. However, this year our Summer of Love event has unexpectedly coincided with Fitness, Motherfuckers, so that’s why I showed up in sportswear. Despite and indeed because of my massive girth, I needed to go out for a walk and the only way I could fit that in was by walking to the date, to meet Swagger, who we shall henceforth call Socrates. So that’s what led to me showing up to meet this extremely handsome and very fashion-sensitive guy in my baggiest Pineapple t-shirt, running tights, muddy trainers, a sports bra, almost no make-up and a ponytail crudely pulled through a baseball cap from the pound shop. Seriously. I think he had made a big effort to look stylish and was disappointed with me at first glance.

I was in the mood for testing the strength of my charming personality, I guess. Luckily, I am fairly charming and he warmed up fast. I like him. Seems like he might have a little badman ting going on. We kissed a couple of times and made some uncomplicated and pragmatic plans to, erm, spend some time appreciating each other at my house this Saturday.

OMG. I would be excited if I wasn’t so huge. I feel like this is the fattest I’ve ever been, plus I’ve only done any housework on like two occasions since returning from Egypt 2 months ago. So now it really is time to get my act together. And I guess that is what dating is for.

2 thoughts on “Socrates”

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