Month: July 2013


OK, so I have to manage my time carefully and be focused because I now have to juggle three things; work, exercise and cleaning my stinky house, it needs to be visitor-ready by Saturday and tonight is really the one evening when I can do it because I’ve also got a lot of work on.

Points so far today: 2 Health points (1 weight training, 1 eight-mile walk).


Right, it looks like Summer of Love is back on and I’ve got about three days to clean up my house and lose enough girth to fit into attractive underwear. Here’s all your daily news.

Diet, Fitness & Getting in Shape

In my view, this project is just going appallingly. Yes, I walk 8 miles every day (1 Health point for today) and yes I go and lift weights at the gym 3-4 times a week, yes I’ve only been doing it for like 3 weeks and yes I have already sprouted some great muscles. However. I am not losing fat as fast as I think I should, and then I for some reason had a massive carbs binge at the weekend, I think I felt sorry for myself or something because I had a lot of work on so obviously I was obliged to eat pie and cookies. I now look absolutely enormous. I am really not happy at all. I am on an incredibly strict no-sugar etc etc no refined carbs diet as of right now. This is a bad situation. I am scared to get on the scales, I have barely eaten a thing today, yet I look huge, it has all got to go by Saturday morning. Jesus Christ. Why is getting in shape so hard.


Well well.

So normally, if I were going on a date, I would pick nice shoes and a nice outfit, probably a dress, arrange my hair, you know the routine. However, this year our Summer of Love event has unexpectedly coincided with Fitness, Motherfuckers, so that’s why I showed up in sportswear. Despite and indeed because of my massive girth, I needed to go out for a walk and the only way I could fit that in was by walking to the date, to meet Swagger, who we shall henceforth call Socrates. So that’s what led to me showing up to meet this extremely handsome and very fashion-sensitive guy in my baggiest Pineapple t-shirt, running tights, muddy trainers, a sports bra, almost no make-up and a ponytail crudely pulled through a baseball cap from the pound shop. Seriously. I think he had made a big effort to look stylish and was disappointed with me at first glance.

I was in the mood for testing the strength of my charming personality, I guess. Luckily, I am fairly charming and he warmed up fast. I like him. Seems like he might have a little badman ting going on. We kissed a couple of times and made some uncomplicated and pragmatic plans to, erm, spend some time appreciating each other at my house this Saturday.

OMG. I would be excited if I wasn’t so huge. I feel like this is the fattest I’ve ever been, plus I’ve only done any housework on like two occasions since returning from Egypt 2 months ago. So now it really is time to get my act together. And I guess that is what dating is for.

The Book of Mormon

OK, so I did a couple of things that are not fitness related! Yay!

I went to a Meetup, it was the first one I’ve been to. It was a craft group. It was nice. I might go again. There was one woman in particular who I got on with. I feel encouraged now to try some other meetups. There’s a group for absolutely everything. I think I’m having a Friends point for that, it is good to go out and meet people in situations where you aren’t either working with them or dating them.


I went out with young Klaus and we had a thoroughly nice evening. We had dinner and talked about some business projects that we could potentially do together. Then went to the Prince of Wales Theatre, which is a delightful and cosy theatre, to see The Book of Mormon, a musical concerning the Church of the Latter Day Saints, by Parker & Stone, creators of South Park. It’s hilarious, as one might expect, and the costumes, sets and dancing are unexpectedly superior. This show is on until mid January 2014, so you have loads of time to go and see it. 1 Art point.


Book of Mormon


Pedro is still away and I am restless. I uploaded a photo of myself to the dating website, using a new profile that is short on content, and now I’m getting mail. There’s one guy in particular who I’m talking to. He has one of those kinds of faces that I like. Plus he has got swagger. I think we are going to go for a swagger round the park one evening, quite soon (exercise). So I will let you know what happens.

“Take your socks off because you will feel more relaxed.”

Yoga. Tut. I might feel more relaxed if I took off the sports bra that’s cutting off the blood flow in my chest, how about that? Strangely enough, though, ‘everyone take their bras off’ isn’t part of the relaxing in my class. Strictly socks only.

Anyway. Weight training followed by yoga. 2 Health points.

Also, I already collected a point for walking 8 miles yesterday. I’m not going to have time to walk today and I’m scared I’m instantly going to put loads of weight back on.

Sticky, and not in a good way.

It’s so humid here, still. Cooler and trying to rain but the sticky, sweaty humidity remains in full force. Very unpleasant.

Weights then 8 mile walk yesterday. Today, 8 mile walk. 3 Health points.

Pedro has been away travelling for weeks and I am starting to find the celibacy difficult to deal with. I am just going to try and hold on until he comes back, should be in about a week or so. I like Pedro and I don’t want to do the next round of internet dating until I’ve shed a few more pounds. It is very hard, though. I am living a very plain life at the moment. I actually went to two social events which I ought to claim points for, so it’s not like I’m completely starved of social contact but you know, the healthier one becomes, the more one needs some kind of sex life.

Weakly Weigh In. This week’s news: slimmer hips.

Scores on the doors: I am back down to 148 lbs, this means I’ve lost the three pounds that I suddenly gained in an alarming and completely unfair way a couple of weeks ago upon commencing weight training. So at least the weight loss ticker is accurate again now, which is something. Still have quite a way to go but at least things are heading in the right direction again.

Shape: Still round in the front but my hips are looking slimmer today. Definitely a bit of fat loss there. They used to have a pronounced curve which has now had a bit shaved off it and become a more gentle slope.

Small jeans test: I can get into the jeans and do them up without struggling. They are close-fitting and I would be bulging out of them as soon as I ate a meal, however it is great news that I can get into them.

Sportswear test: OK , so I have sportswear in two sizes: UK 14, known in the cruel, cruel world of sportswear as Large, and UK 12, known as Medium.  (American readers, UK 14 is your size 10; European readers, this is your size 42.) In terms of waist measurement, which is my biggest challenge, a UK 14 implies a waist measurement of 31-32 inches, in fact I’ve just got the tape measure out and 32 inches looks about right. If I can slim down enough to get into my alternative wardrobe of size 12 clothes, my waist will have gone down to 30 inches and I will be happy because I can wear all my smaller clothes. If I get all the way to my weight loss goal, which would leave me at 133 lbs which is where I was 10 years ago, I will have a waist of about 28 inches and I will be able to wear some gorgeous size 10 clothes that I’ve had in storage for ages because I couldn’t fit into them any more.

Summary. Weight: down. Small jeans: yes, but could not wear comfortably all day. Size 12 sportswear: not yet.