Okay, I think I have it out of my system now. I think I’m finally starting to get tired of knitting and to wish that I was doing something else, like maybe having a life, occasionally going outdoors and earning some points and stuff.
Readers, I have no doubt that to many of you knitting is just about the most laughably boring subject you can think of. It is why I don’t discuss it in any detail here. All you need to know for the purposes of this blog is that the physical action of twisting yarn around sticks so as to produce miles of fabric and ultimately, new clothes, is more powerfully addictive than crack. Most knitters, whether their everyday knitting habit is modest or ferocious, will periodically experience episodes where the compulsion to knit outranks all other activities.
I entered one of these phases I think around the end of February, so four months ago. I started knitting a quite complicated stole in fine yarn, one that would have required many, many hours of work to complete even if there had been no other project competing for my attention. After a while I started to find it frustrating so, in the grip of my break with reality, I thought the right thing to do would be to knit a sweater. Then some socks. Then some mittens. Then start a shawl. Then knit three more sweaters. I just finished the fourth sweater last night and I think I’m finally ready to put the needles down and do something else. In 16 weeks, I’ve produced an amount of knitting that would more usually take me 12-15 months.
I’ve gained approximately two pounds in weight for each of the four sweaters I’ve made and I am now too fat to wear them attractively, which I guess is Nature’s way of correcting itself, lol. I’m fat and I’m tired of knitting. It’s time to go outdoors and get some exercise and slim down to my correct size so that I can wear all these new clothes that I’m 8 lbs too heavy for.
I’m not going to post photos of my own knitting because pieces of knitted fabric that are fresh off the needles are usually crumpled, in need of a wash and generally look awful and as such will do nothing to persuade you that I’m not wasting my time. Instead, let me show you what it is that stimulates my knitting appetite so badly. If you can knit, you can make these items, the patterns are by Louisa Harding and support her Mila yarn. She is a British designer but is distributed internationally by Designer Yarns. I’ve liked Louisa Harding for a long time but this collection has particularly won my heart because (a) juicy colours!, (b) simple designs with a little twist, so fun while being easy to knit, (c) the yarn is comfortable to work with, doesn’t split, knits up fast.
And now, church. A righteous tune for a Sunday. F.T.P. means Free The Prisoners.
Baby J ft. Skinnyman: None Of Them