A mid-week update.
Monday morning I successfully got out of bed early enough to get some exercise in before work. I didn’t run, for reasons that are not clear to me, but I did briskly walk four miles and burned off 400 calories. Here is the chart.
What made Monday quite special is that I then walked a further two miles later on in the day, adding up to a magnificent 600 calories burned off. I thought that was really good. 1 Health point.
After that I went to the dentist and had a giant wisdom tooth removed from the right hand side of my mouth, which is being completely demolished and flattened to make way for the great building project of 2012. It wasn’t a very pleasant experience because the tooth had long, curly roots and did not want to come out. It took a long time. My face is still aching now. 1 Health point for doing that even though there are times when I want to quit this dental project and just go home.
Then in the evening I sat around quietly nursing my face and chatting to a guy I met through the dating site. One of these sites I use (there are two) has you fill out hundreds of lifestyle and attitude questions, ‘how educated are you’ and ‘do you prefer dogs or cats’, stuff like that. Most of the questions are pretty stupid and irrelevant, eg ‘would you need to have sex with someone before marrying them’. I suppose if you are a teenage religious fundamentalist living in Utah that might be a worthwhile question but otherwise, you know, shut up. Anyway, depending on your responses to these questions the website indicates the strength of your compatibility with all of its other members, expressed as a percentage.
So. This guy. Struck up a conversation with me saying we should meet because we both live in London and we are 85% compatible according to this ridiculous metric. I said “Dude, write something on your profile. It is blank except for your photo. All the compatibility rating tells me is that we are highly educated Londoners, well big deal, so are seven million other people, tell me what makes you different and special”. “I’ll tell you when I see you” says he, and we continue on in this vein for a while. So anyway I can see that he’s articulate enough and the things he says make him sound pretty switched-on and successful, plus his photo is not bad looking. He looks to be about 40, one of those media types. You know the kind. I work with them all the time. As it happens, I am planning to be out and about in London the following afternoon (Tuesday) for work reasons and could free up a bit of time for a drink and maybe even dinner on the way home so I agree to meet him.
You know how I was complaining the other day about that 27-year-old whose weight problem implied that his photos were five years out of date? Well this guy’s photo was a staggering twenty-five years out of date. I swear he was 65 if he was a day. I had no hope of recognising him when we met at the tube station and I was so mightily unimpressed that he would pretend to be 25 years younger than he actually is that I nearly turned around and got back on the train. However, there’s a bar directly across the road and I do want a glass of wine, so we go there. I am interested to hear how he will account for himself.
What a tosser he turned out to be. Not unintelligent, just a complete wanker. If I told you he was a Tory politician that would convey much of what I got. Of course, if he had told me “I am a 65 year old Tory politican and that photo might as well be of someone else entirely” I wouldn’t have even considered meeting him. So he blustered on about himself while I drank my wine. He talked and talked. He expressed some repellent views about people on benefits and immigrants. He talked down to me and tried to tell me that I don’t know anything. All the while thinking himself very charming and debonair and imagining that the date was going well. Eventually he said “well, what shall we do about dinner”.
At that point, I gave it to him straight. I told him that we were not going to have dinner together and that I was leaving now because he seriously misrepresented himself and I don’t like being lied to. I also have not got time to meet the entire population of the world and therefore I don’t appreciate having my time wasted by people who solicit my attention under false pretences. He was rather surprised. In true politician style, he started trying to argue his way out of the situation. He told me he felt it was perfectly acceptable to put unrepresentative and misleading photos on a dating website in order to get women to meet him because he wants to keep his true identity a secret and he feels that if he and the woman get along when they meet face to face then all is well, because –
I interrupted him. “Bait and switch” I said. “What? What’s that?” says he. “Bait and switch. It’s the exact word for what you’ve just described. Look it up.”
Then he argued and wheedled some more until I went from disappointed to angry and departed as fast as my legs could carry me. I got on the tube and went somewhere else where I had a very nice dinner on my own.
The stupid, arrogant man.
So that’s where we are up to so far this week.