It is a funny old time.
I have definitively Quit Smoking. I do not wish I could have a cigarette and I am glad to be free of the cognitive dissonance that all smokers endure. I am not staring at smokers with envy. I do not think about smoking the whole time.
On the other hand. I keep forgetting to breathe: that’s happening quite a lot, and I seem to have heightened senses, which I don’t remember from last time and which I hope is illusory and temporary. Like today I was on the train and a woman two seats away was eating crisps. To me it sounded like gunfire and I had to move to another carriage because it was that or yank the bag of crisps out of her hand and destroy them underfoot.
Also, quitting smoking is making my usual Achievements feel a bit paltry. I went to my sculpture class. I’ve done well in excess of 40 minutes’ walking on at least two occasions that I can’t even be bothered to document. Tonight I am defrosting the freezer, which previously would have been a big wow since I’ve never attempted such a thing before, and which currently I can’t be bothered to congratulate myself over.
So that is where we are up to. It is a funny time. I’m not even having Achievement points for quitting smoking just yet because I don’t know that I care enough to enjoy them.
The main thing is that I am well and truly out of the weekend of cold turkey angst and I don’t wish to smoke. Also, I am doing my new, quite demanding and complicated dental hygiene routine and my gums are already looking better. So that’s briliant, isn’t it. And that’s all today’s news.