It has been a really shit week for dating. I feel like my considerable beauty and charm are going to waste.
As you will recall, the last exciting news on the dating front was last Thursday, the 7th. That was the night I met a man who shall henceforth be known as the Lizard King, a man so terrifically exciting that I felt like going home and hiding behind the wardrobe, for fear of the tsunami of excitement that might ensue. Well, let me tell you, after the 10 days that immediately followed, I would be all over him if he were here now. But he is not here now and nor is anyone else who is fun to play with. Let us assess the rather dire situation.
- Lizard King. Is on the other side of the world for a month. Back in July.
- Laurent. I have seen him but all his joie de vivre is missing. He has lost his job and is miserable and preoccupied.
- Klaus. Busy with work and some creative projects, doesn’t want to come out to play right now.
- Farid. Completely dropped off the radar. I was not very surprised about that to be honest. Bless him, he is a sincere and true romantic, while I have such a sharp edge, it would have ended in bloodshed and it would not have been my blood. A pity but you have to be willing to acknowledge when you are not compatible.
Added to which:
- Thursday. Met a man whose dating site profile made him sound so uber hard and cool and then when I met him was the very pinnacle of ordinary, if such a thing is imaginable. He was a nice bloke but bloody hell. He needs a nice, cosy profile to match, not one that makes him seem like Marilyn Manson.
- Friday. Friday’s date flaked on me at the last minute. Thanks a lot.
- Saturday. Gah. That was really hard work. I’ve just returned from this date in a moderately bad mood. He was super keen to arrange a date with me but then he showed up an hour late and then we spent 90 minutes together in which I could not reach him or strike up any rapport with him at all. And then when I gave that as my reason for departing he acted dismayed and said he thought we were getting on well. In which case I dread to think what it is like for him when dates go badly.
So that’s me. This Weak of Dating has left me annoyed and frustrated.
In other Weakly News, I have neither gained nor lost any weight this week according to the scales, but I have once again got a muffin top on my skinny jeans, and unlike the scales, the jeans do not lie.
I did go to Chinese class, having missed about four lessons, so I get one Chinese point for that and I’ve now got a month of catching up to do so I might as well do that what with the dating climate being so thoroughly disappointing just at the moment.
You will know I am back in the groove when I start playing music again because it is supposed to be the season of Summer House but nothing sounds good right now, in the same way that sometimes you just don’t feel much like eating food.